Drum Roll Please.....

We are officially a WAITING FAMILY!!!  (Cue applause, fireworks, drums, anything that makes celebration noise)  It happened on January 3rd!  What a way to start off the new year huh?  It came in a little email and it was crazy how much that little impact did for us that day.  I am not sure how to even write about it, because I can't really put the feelings into words.  I know there is still a long road ahead of us, but we have already chipped 2 days off that long road.  Everyday we get 1 day closer to our family happening.  But I need a few of those days too.  I haven't been as productive as I would like to be around here getting Cupcake's room painted and setup, so that will definitely keep us busy for a while.  We have a paint scheme to do, crown molding to put up, and get a light for the room.  Then we can start setting up furniture and other things.  So hopefully that is going to make the time go by fairly quickly.

I started praying for our birthmother a while back, but have stepped that up to about twice a day now.  She is out there somewhere.  And her health and well-being is so important.  I know our agency will take of her if she goes in early and allows them to make sure she is getting everything she needs, which I pray she does.  I also can't help but try to visualize what she will be like when we meet her.  I pray that I keep it together and not cry or something to make her feel pressured or awkward!  I hope she wants pictures and letters, but if she doesn't then we will respect that too.  I just want her to always be assured that we are doing everything within our power to make this baby happy and top priority and to let her be happy/comfortable with her decision.

I have had a lot of questions about open adoption and how that could work, so I thought I would talk a little about that too since that is about to be such a big part of my life.  It can look so different depending on the situation.  But today 100% closed adoptions aren't common.  Which I think is a good thing.  I want my kids to know they have birthparents and be able to connect with them if they want too.  If nothing else, medical history is critical.  A friend of mine who is adopted said that is the one thing she hates about her adoption.  Her adoption took place over 40 years ago and it was closed tighter than tight and she knows nothing of her medical history.  How much would that stink if you could never fill out that stuff at just your annual physical or when you change doctors?  But beyond just the factual need-to-know things, birthparents are a part of the whole story that adoptees need to know about and connect with on several levels.  So openess can range from us sending photos/letters to the agency who then sends it to her...all the way to us actually exchanging numbers and visits.  I think that's one of those things that you think you know what you want, say nothing more than contact through the agency, then you get to know each other and trust is built and it grows into something more.  And of course, you do what is the best and healthiest for the baby.  That is what is most important.  So long story short, I am not sure what our openess will look like.  I think it will change and grow as we go through the process. 

I just want to do what is best for my kids and I think that is to know all of their family.  I think it is good for them to understand adoption isn't out not wanting the baby or whatever, but out of love.  Birthparents have to have a pretty big love for a baby to make an adoption plan.  They have to carry this little baby for 9 months and then look at them, hold them, cuddle them, and then hand them over to another family that will see all their firsts, dry their tears, and teach them how to grow.  You have to be a pretty strong parent to do that don't you think?  I mean you put that baby before yourself and give them a life you want for them but for whatever reason cannot give them.  I am not sure I would be strong enough to do what they are doing.  I guess after sitting back and thinking about all this, it just really opened my heart to open adoption.  I mean I think they should always be able to know they made a good decision and they are still a big part of the child's life.  I just sort of think of them as heroes.  They make unselfish decisions that have to break their hearts into a million pieces, but they stay strong.  They make dreams happen for families and they shape families into larger versions that what some will ever have.  They completely destroy the term "unwanted pregnancy," because through the power of adoption no pregnancy is ever unwanted.  Adoption surpasses the boundaries that medical technology and nature set for us.  I guess some would describe it as magic, while most would describe it as seeing God's hand at work.  Babies are always described as miracles....and how big is a miracle that a couple who can't have a baby, meets up with their baby through adoption. 

Obviously we will never rule out potentially having our own one day through a miracle.  In fact, we hope all those "as soon as this girl I knew adopted, she got pregnant" stories that we have heard over the past year are true and it happens to us.  But our desire to parent far outweighs our desire to give birth.  That is not an easy point to get to throughout this process if you have tried to conceive on your own, but I can say when you get there, it feels pretty awesome.  Finally being able to say I am going to be a mommy and know it's going to stick is a little overwhelming.  I mean like you want to cry, laugh, turn a cartwheel, and then sorta freak-out all at the same time.  Pretty cool...even though I can't really turn a cartwheel anymore...possibly ever could...I cheered & danced, but wasn't exactly the cheer queen or anything haha! 

So I had promised reviews of recipes and workouts and that will come, but I figured I should share this post first.  Now I need to get off of here and make my way towards the painting project I have waiting.  Pray that I keep the paint on the walls!

Thank you guys for all the prayers and good thoughts that made this process go smoothly.  And thank you in advance for the prayers that this will move quick and we will have our Cupcake (or probably a little Stinkbug) home soon.  With that...I guess it's also probably time to clean!

Peace, Love, & New Year-Healthy You Fat Free Cake!

Misty