In case you missed the Facebook post, I am putting together a cookbook with some of my favorite recipes and have asked any of you all that would like to contribute to send me some of you favorites. My hope is to put together a cute compilation of our favorite foods and use this to help not only raise funds/awareness for the adoption, but also I want to cook all these things for little bit when he or she is old enough to eat them. I want to share with them the love that went into getting our paths to cross and show them how many people were eagerly awaiting their arrival. :)
Another funny thing that happened...funny being ironic...was with my love of crafting. Some of you guys know I have my wreaths posted on Etsy. Well I had a lady email me and ask me if I would be interested in donating one as a raffle prize for a March of Dimes benefit she does. It is a walk/run that is in rememberance of babies that have been miscarried/lost and all the proceeds go this year to the March of Dimes. The slogan was "taking the steps they never got to take." It touched my heart that God put this in front of me. Not only did I accept the offer and will happily donate a wreath but it made me do some research and here is what I found out:
"In 1988, then-President Ronald Reagan proclaimed October as a national month of mourning in remembrance of babies who died in through miscarriage, stillbirth and other causes. This observance allows families and communities to come together to not only celebrate those infants' lives, but also to increase the understanding into why these tragedies occurred and work at preventing them in the future. "
I had no idea. Of course my little mind is running 100 mph and wondering if I can get a walk together sometime in October. :) Let's see what I can come up with! I know some of you do walks/runs all the time, so if you have ever helped organize one or put it together, let me know. I wanted to do a big one to raise money for the adoption, and maybe this can go hand in hand with it to help raise awareness and to help honor those that have been lost but definitely not forgotten. I just had no idea there was a whole month for it!
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Saturday, September 22, 2012
You may have thought I was kidding about the wrestling thing....
So I know my last post was a little heavy, but after receiving a message that it encouraged someone, it was worth it. I want you guys to know I am still very much encouraged and know God is here with me guiding my family to expand regardless of the method.
Now on to more fun things....for those that thought I was kidding about sharing nachos and a foam finger with a child dressed in Cena clothes while I wear CM Punk attire....I give you exhibit A :)
Now on to more fun things....for those that thought I was kidding about sharing nachos and a foam finger with a child dressed in Cena clothes while I wear CM Punk attire....I give you exhibit A :)
I figured just in case we are matched and have Baby home by Wrestlemania...he/she needs something to wear! And if not, then to all the other house shows, pay-per-views, and autograph sessions that will come along after Baby is home. (I am also going to pick a much more creative nickname than Baby...)
So come on Baby before Wrestlemania! Momma has you an outfit and I think they might even let you in for free while you fit this outfit :)
Love you guys! :)
Friday, September 21, 2012
How We Decided To Adopt....
Hey guys
So after sharing this adoption news the question I have gotten the most is why did we decide to adopt. That is a two-fold question and I have struggled for days how to correctly articulate my answer. The first part being that it has always been laid on my heart to adopt. We had already discussed adopting possibly our second or third child, just never realized it might be in God’s plan for us to adopt our first. Some of the best people I know are adopted and my life is so rich and blessed because of them. The second part is the one that was harder to talk about. It is about God maybe having a plan for us to adopt our first child. We want to be parents more than anything, but unfortunately that hasn’t worked out for us in a traditional fashion. I am stopping with that comment here and below I go into more detail. The reason I stop is because this is an emotional story and it’s not one everyone needs to read. So consider this your warning haha! But honestly God has laid it upon my heart that it needs to be shared. So someone needs it and I hope it helps them in some way. If I can give comfort to someone through it, then sharing it was worth. But if you don’t need the details then stop here and wait for the next happy post :) It will be soon to come!
****Let me encourage you to make it to the end of this, as it is long and a little emotional. I had to stop twice while writing to cry. And read it knowing that I am happy with the decisions I have made regardless of the outcome. My journey has been a long one and it getting longer I am sure with the adoption process coming into play, but I am proud to still be plodding along this long road. I cherish the people I have met along the way, and the friends it has reunited me with. I also cherish the closeness it has brought me to my Lord and Savior. It would be easy to ball up and melt away through the tough times, but instead He has remained present and close to me, and I will not sink because of Him. Again if you don’t want to read the novel below, I don’t blame you as it is long, but know that as emotional and long as it has been, it has taught me a lot and it has been worth every step, as I know what the outcome will one day be. I love you guys for taking the time to read this. Thank you for being my friends and for accompanying me on my journey through this little blog. Every post won’t be happy, but most will. And I hope if nothing else, you can laugh at the Sims’ family who continue to pray for melted gummy bears in their car’s carpets, nights with no sleep, runny noses that get every sick, ball games that keep everyone out too late, and more love than anyone can imagine!**
One question is the hardest for me to answer, because as much as it hurts me to hear the question, it is going to hurt those that have asked it time and time again to hear the answer. The question I get asked the most in my married life is “when are you and Michael going to have a baby?” Well I could answer that with 3 and half years ago, because that’s when we decided to expand our family. I am sure that doesn’t make any sense. You see 3 ½ years ago we decided we wanted to have a baby. Well actually probably 4 years ago, but did give it time while we went to our doctor and made sure we were ready to start trying to have a baby (who knew they verify your tetanus shot and other vaccinations are still in your system?). Well away we went. Slowly time began to pass and soon it was 1 year…then 1 ½ years and nothing had happened. So, back to the doctor we went. My sweet doctor was so awesome and said how young we were and that we should have no issues, just possibly need a boost from Clomid. 9 cycles of Clomid later, he was referring us to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE), because nothing was working. The RE ran some tests and diagnosed us with unexplained infertility. Huh? Well that means there is nothing medically wrong or off with either of us. In fact, we couldn’t be in better condition to conceive, but it just has not happened. So he said with those results, we should have no issues and he would get us on an aggressive plan that was going to produce some results. So of course, we were ecstatic. I was put on Femara and had to give myself a trigger shot in the tummy the first go around, and then we went through an IUI procedure. That resulted in a negative test. So we proceeded to round 2 of Femara and this time skipping the trigger shot, as I was quite normal in this prospective so there wasn’t a need and we just tested with OPK, and went in for IUI #2. On our 5 year anniversary, I was just feeling off and decided what the heck, let’s test. I watched as almost instantly I saw the first positive I had ever seen. It was amazing and I cried for what seemed like hours. Finally we had our miracle. Father’s day was just a few short days later and we took a picture of the test and framed it. We gave one to my parents that day and saved the other for his parents who we would see July 3rd. We had our first ultrasound and there was the most beautiful “pea” I had ever seen. We could even see, but not yet hear, the heartbeat flicker on the monitor. There was nothing in this world like that little flicker. Sadly, this was the last flicker of hope we would have for a while.
July 3rd we were at work and had to go in for a checkup, then would finish out the day and go home to share the blessing with his parents (frame was wrapped in the car along with pictures from the first ultrasound). I was so excited for the appointment. We were laughing and smiling and holding hands. Two of the proudest parents you have ever seen, who already knew our child was amazing and destined to be president or at least play Alabama football. I laid back and the ultrasound began and I looked at my nurse’s face and it was like a cold chill fell over the room. It was so cold and my head started to spin so much that I barely heard her say, “Misty, I am a little concerned.” There was no heartbeat, no blood flow. Our miracle had faded away just as quickly as that little flicker had flashed just a week before. I felt the hot flash of the tears pouring down my face as she said she had to get the doctor. I just knew I had heard her wrong, until I turned my head to see those same tears I was shedding pouring down Michael’s face. The doctor came in and confirmed and my world crumbled. I walked out of that door and knew I had to go back to work. I was just moving. My spirit broken and my heart almost seemed to have stopped beating. I cried the whole way back to work and told Michael to just go tell his folks I was sick and we needed to leave. That would take about 20 minutes but would give me enough time to gather my things and leave. I sent an email to my boss and stared out the window. I thought I was holding it together until I found my hand still touching my tummy and realizing my little pea wasn’t able to feel anything I was doing. The tears came again and of course so did a visitor to my office. I had to turn around as I couldn’t ignore him, but honestly I just wanted to get swallowed up by the earth. I was shaking and apparently as white as a ghost, as he stopped talking immediately and asked what was wrong. I couldn’t even think of what to say, so I just told him what had happened. I didn’t want too, but I didn’t have it in me to muster up the “I’m sick” excuse, because that didn’t do the situation justice. I will always be thankful to him for not revealing that any of it ever happened and simply telling me to get out of there, anything at work could wait. I ran out the door, to Michael waiting in the car, and vowed to never go back. I had to make all the calls to the people that knew and I just wanted to make them and never speak again. But that wasn’t a real option.
They wanted to schedule a D&C to finish the miscarriage and ensure I didn’t have complications due to the miscarriage. I went in for another ultrasound just to be sure a mistake had not occurred. I prayed prayers with every breath I took, but it was true that my little pea was a little angel now. So, I made the D&C appointment for July 11th. Not even quite a full month that my little pea had come into my world, it would be stripped away. I will spare you those details, as I don’t think anyone needs to know or go through that. I can tell you my heart stayed broken for weeks….it may even still be. I still have those sweet ultrasound pictures and that framed positive test photo to remind me of the fact that for that brief time in my life, I was what I had wanted to be and seemed so easy for others to become, a mommy. The D&C came and went. And not many people ever knew it happened. Those that did called me strong. I guess after reading this, they know I really wasn’t. I pretended to be, but inside I think I will forever be a different person. And for those that asked me the baby question, I hope this doesn’t make you hurt for asking it. It killed me to have to lie each time. But sometimes you just don’t want to repeat the truth any more than you have too. I didn’t want to be different and tell you that I wasn’t like you and couldn’t have children without help, and for weeks, I didn’t want to be the one people whispered about as the girl that lost her baby.
The emotional toll cut a little deeper than you can imagine. See I had changed my entire way of living during the IUI cycles. Prior to them, I had visited my grandmother regularly in the nursing home and I had been working out 6 days a week and training at running with hopes of running some 5k’s and half marathons. I dropped it all. I didn’t want to risk getting sick during the cycles since I couldn’t take most medications, so I stopped visiting, making several excuses of being sick or out of town. I had also read a few articles that over-exercising could affect your pregnancy chances. Well since I already apparently had issues, I dropped it all after the first IUI cycle was negative and when we got pregnant I decided that I would only walk at a slow pace. Probably sounds crazy, but I wasn’t taking any chances. So not only did my emotions over the loss hit me, but the loss of all that I worked for too. Sounds shallow, but I had focused on it so much to take my mind off of the rollercoaster of trying to get pregnant that when there was no more pregnancy, all I could see was the aftermath of all my hard work being neglected for months. After the D&C, I tried to start over but due to some other complications that went on for about 2 solid months, I couldn’t continue. It has not been an easy place to be for quite some time. Adjusting to loss and back to slow walking rather than clocking good run times were not easy, but I have come to the realization that time will heal it all. I knew I had begun to heal the night I was finally able to go out and laugh again. It was at a WWE event (imagine that!). I will forever be grateful to the WWE and one special friend I made along the way, who didn’t know exactly what had happened, but knew enough that he made sure I left with one of my favorite wrestlers’ t-shirt. It is such a small thing, but it was like a ray of bright sunshine that night. It took me from that icy day in July until the end of August, but it happened. And I started taking baby steps forward that day, including proceeding with IUI #3.
I wish I could tell you that IUI #3 was the one that took. But I can’t. Today we went through a confirmation of another loss. Not quite as intense as it happened quite early and, if not being monitored so closely, we might have not ever realized what had happened. Tough to deal with still, but the fact that I am writing this shows me how far I have come in healing and acceptance. I prayed last night for God’s arms around me today and I can assure you I feel them. We will start next week with our 4th IUI cycle. And continue to pray for comfort and a miracle.
Because it had taken us so long to get into our first appointment with the RE (wait time from November to the following April), we had also went for an intake appointment at an adoption agency. The appointment went great and we decided to pursue this either way (meaning be it for our first child or our second). As I said, I had always had adoption on my heart as something I would want to do as a part of my family expansion, just never occurred to me that it could be the only method. So we continued to work through the slow process of adoption through all of this, which explains the conference this past weekend. I thank God that I was at the conference. After the buildup to the 3rd IUI not working, I needed the focus of the adoption journey to keep the seams from coming apart yet again.
Infertility, be it explained or unexplained, is like walking down a path in the woods at night with no light. You can’t see anything. You can’t feel anything. You have no idea where you are going or how much farther the journey will be. You don’t know if it will end at a wall or if it will open up to the end result you are seeking. Even though you are not alone, it sometimes feels like you are. You feel like no one in the world understands, even though they try. I can truly describe it as a monster that always seems to be hiding under my bed, just waiting to get me each and every chance it gets. But there is something that it doesn’t know. I stopped fearing monsters under my bed years ago. I refuse to let this beat us. It has been hard for me as a person that has always accomplished everything I had set out to do, from school to work to personal goals, to keep falling down as I walk this path, but I keep getting back up. I wipe the dust and tears off and keep going. Again, my friends call me strong…I call it my only choice. I liken infertility to dark water that you are trapped in, and I am choosing to not sink. I find it difficult to process this concept of unexplained infertility, as I come from a world of math and science where everything has an answer. Sometimes I think it is God telling me that it is His path I should be following. He is the Light in all this that seems so dark. His path for family expansion may not be what I had in mind or what others consider conventional or normal. (I have grown to hate the word normal as it seems to be used so often in the negative, such as “I wish you could get pregnant normally.” Yeah…me too…) But those people mean well. They don’t realize what they are saying or doing, because the concept is foreign to them. If you haven’t walked this path, you can’t fathom what it is like. I think I had a friend say it best in just simply…the whole thing sucks. Sometimes when you don’t know what to say, the truth is what has to be said and that is it. It sucks! (Sorry mom! I know you aren’t a huge fan of that word.)
Hopefully you aren’t discouraged in all this just yet. I am not. I press on knowing that our child is out there. Be it through another IUI and adoption, or just adoption, our family will be growing. What is next for us? Well we begin the adoption home study group classes in two weeks and once that is in the books and complete, we will be officially waiting! We will continue to pursue the IUI treatments until the doctor says it is time for IVF. At that point, I am not sure if we will go down that path or not. The expense is quite high, as is adoption, and not to be guaranteed of results, I am not sure if we will be able to go through with that procedure or not. Hopefully that will be a bridge we won’t cross, but if we do, I plan on doing it holding God’s hand and letting Him guide the steps. One thing all this has taught me, God is in control. Not me, not the doctors, not family, not friends….only my Heavenly Father. I will happily take more than one child into my home, as by this time we had already planned on having two, maybe even three, so it looks like we have a lot of time to make up for so our little babies better be ready to be spoiled regardless of how they find their way to us!
So after sharing this adoption news the question I have gotten the most is why did we decide to adopt. That is a two-fold question and I have struggled for days how to correctly articulate my answer. The first part being that it has always been laid on my heart to adopt. We had already discussed adopting possibly our second or third child, just never realized it might be in God’s plan for us to adopt our first. Some of the best people I know are adopted and my life is so rich and blessed because of them. The second part is the one that was harder to talk about. It is about God maybe having a plan for us to adopt our first child. We want to be parents more than anything, but unfortunately that hasn’t worked out for us in a traditional fashion. I am stopping with that comment here and below I go into more detail. The reason I stop is because this is an emotional story and it’s not one everyone needs to read. So consider this your warning haha! But honestly God has laid it upon my heart that it needs to be shared. So someone needs it and I hope it helps them in some way. If I can give comfort to someone through it, then sharing it was worth. But if you don’t need the details then stop here and wait for the next happy post :) It will be soon to come!
****Let me encourage you to make it to the end of this, as it is long and a little emotional. I had to stop twice while writing to cry. And read it knowing that I am happy with the decisions I have made regardless of the outcome. My journey has been a long one and it getting longer I am sure with the adoption process coming into play, but I am proud to still be plodding along this long road. I cherish the people I have met along the way, and the friends it has reunited me with. I also cherish the closeness it has brought me to my Lord and Savior. It would be easy to ball up and melt away through the tough times, but instead He has remained present and close to me, and I will not sink because of Him. Again if you don’t want to read the novel below, I don’t blame you as it is long, but know that as emotional and long as it has been, it has taught me a lot and it has been worth every step, as I know what the outcome will one day be. I love you guys for taking the time to read this. Thank you for being my friends and for accompanying me on my journey through this little blog. Every post won’t be happy, but most will. And I hope if nothing else, you can laugh at the Sims’ family who continue to pray for melted gummy bears in their car’s carpets, nights with no sleep, runny noses that get every sick, ball games that keep everyone out too late, and more love than anyone can imagine!**
One question is the hardest for me to answer, because as much as it hurts me to hear the question, it is going to hurt those that have asked it time and time again to hear the answer. The question I get asked the most in my married life is “when are you and Michael going to have a baby?” Well I could answer that with 3 and half years ago, because that’s when we decided to expand our family. I am sure that doesn’t make any sense. You see 3 ½ years ago we decided we wanted to have a baby. Well actually probably 4 years ago, but did give it time while we went to our doctor and made sure we were ready to start trying to have a baby (who knew they verify your tetanus shot and other vaccinations are still in your system?). Well away we went. Slowly time began to pass and soon it was 1 year…then 1 ½ years and nothing had happened. So, back to the doctor we went. My sweet doctor was so awesome and said how young we were and that we should have no issues, just possibly need a boost from Clomid. 9 cycles of Clomid later, he was referring us to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE), because nothing was working. The RE ran some tests and diagnosed us with unexplained infertility. Huh? Well that means there is nothing medically wrong or off with either of us. In fact, we couldn’t be in better condition to conceive, but it just has not happened. So he said with those results, we should have no issues and he would get us on an aggressive plan that was going to produce some results. So of course, we were ecstatic. I was put on Femara and had to give myself a trigger shot in the tummy the first go around, and then we went through an IUI procedure. That resulted in a negative test. So we proceeded to round 2 of Femara and this time skipping the trigger shot, as I was quite normal in this prospective so there wasn’t a need and we just tested with OPK, and went in for IUI #2. On our 5 year anniversary, I was just feeling off and decided what the heck, let’s test. I watched as almost instantly I saw the first positive I had ever seen. It was amazing and I cried for what seemed like hours. Finally we had our miracle. Father’s day was just a few short days later and we took a picture of the test and framed it. We gave one to my parents that day and saved the other for his parents who we would see July 3rd. We had our first ultrasound and there was the most beautiful “pea” I had ever seen. We could even see, but not yet hear, the heartbeat flicker on the monitor. There was nothing in this world like that little flicker. Sadly, this was the last flicker of hope we would have for a while.
July 3rd we were at work and had to go in for a checkup, then would finish out the day and go home to share the blessing with his parents (frame was wrapped in the car along with pictures from the first ultrasound). I was so excited for the appointment. We were laughing and smiling and holding hands. Two of the proudest parents you have ever seen, who already knew our child was amazing and destined to be president or at least play Alabama football. I laid back and the ultrasound began and I looked at my nurse’s face and it was like a cold chill fell over the room. It was so cold and my head started to spin so much that I barely heard her say, “Misty, I am a little concerned.” There was no heartbeat, no blood flow. Our miracle had faded away just as quickly as that little flicker had flashed just a week before. I felt the hot flash of the tears pouring down my face as she said she had to get the doctor. I just knew I had heard her wrong, until I turned my head to see those same tears I was shedding pouring down Michael’s face. The doctor came in and confirmed and my world crumbled. I walked out of that door and knew I had to go back to work. I was just moving. My spirit broken and my heart almost seemed to have stopped beating. I cried the whole way back to work and told Michael to just go tell his folks I was sick and we needed to leave. That would take about 20 minutes but would give me enough time to gather my things and leave. I sent an email to my boss and stared out the window. I thought I was holding it together until I found my hand still touching my tummy and realizing my little pea wasn’t able to feel anything I was doing. The tears came again and of course so did a visitor to my office. I had to turn around as I couldn’t ignore him, but honestly I just wanted to get swallowed up by the earth. I was shaking and apparently as white as a ghost, as he stopped talking immediately and asked what was wrong. I couldn’t even think of what to say, so I just told him what had happened. I didn’t want too, but I didn’t have it in me to muster up the “I’m sick” excuse, because that didn’t do the situation justice. I will always be thankful to him for not revealing that any of it ever happened and simply telling me to get out of there, anything at work could wait. I ran out the door, to Michael waiting in the car, and vowed to never go back. I had to make all the calls to the people that knew and I just wanted to make them and never speak again. But that wasn’t a real option.
They wanted to schedule a D&C to finish the miscarriage and ensure I didn’t have complications due to the miscarriage. I went in for another ultrasound just to be sure a mistake had not occurred. I prayed prayers with every breath I took, but it was true that my little pea was a little angel now. So, I made the D&C appointment for July 11th. Not even quite a full month that my little pea had come into my world, it would be stripped away. I will spare you those details, as I don’t think anyone needs to know or go through that. I can tell you my heart stayed broken for weeks….it may even still be. I still have those sweet ultrasound pictures and that framed positive test photo to remind me of the fact that for that brief time in my life, I was what I had wanted to be and seemed so easy for others to become, a mommy. The D&C came and went. And not many people ever knew it happened. Those that did called me strong. I guess after reading this, they know I really wasn’t. I pretended to be, but inside I think I will forever be a different person. And for those that asked me the baby question, I hope this doesn’t make you hurt for asking it. It killed me to have to lie each time. But sometimes you just don’t want to repeat the truth any more than you have too. I didn’t want to be different and tell you that I wasn’t like you and couldn’t have children without help, and for weeks, I didn’t want to be the one people whispered about as the girl that lost her baby.
The emotional toll cut a little deeper than you can imagine. See I had changed my entire way of living during the IUI cycles. Prior to them, I had visited my grandmother regularly in the nursing home and I had been working out 6 days a week and training at running with hopes of running some 5k’s and half marathons. I dropped it all. I didn’t want to risk getting sick during the cycles since I couldn’t take most medications, so I stopped visiting, making several excuses of being sick or out of town. I had also read a few articles that over-exercising could affect your pregnancy chances. Well since I already apparently had issues, I dropped it all after the first IUI cycle was negative and when we got pregnant I decided that I would only walk at a slow pace. Probably sounds crazy, but I wasn’t taking any chances. So not only did my emotions over the loss hit me, but the loss of all that I worked for too. Sounds shallow, but I had focused on it so much to take my mind off of the rollercoaster of trying to get pregnant that when there was no more pregnancy, all I could see was the aftermath of all my hard work being neglected for months. After the D&C, I tried to start over but due to some other complications that went on for about 2 solid months, I couldn’t continue. It has not been an easy place to be for quite some time. Adjusting to loss and back to slow walking rather than clocking good run times were not easy, but I have come to the realization that time will heal it all. I knew I had begun to heal the night I was finally able to go out and laugh again. It was at a WWE event (imagine that!). I will forever be grateful to the WWE and one special friend I made along the way, who didn’t know exactly what had happened, but knew enough that he made sure I left with one of my favorite wrestlers’ t-shirt. It is such a small thing, but it was like a ray of bright sunshine that night. It took me from that icy day in July until the end of August, but it happened. And I started taking baby steps forward that day, including proceeding with IUI #3.
I wish I could tell you that IUI #3 was the one that took. But I can’t. Today we went through a confirmation of another loss. Not quite as intense as it happened quite early and, if not being monitored so closely, we might have not ever realized what had happened. Tough to deal with still, but the fact that I am writing this shows me how far I have come in healing and acceptance. I prayed last night for God’s arms around me today and I can assure you I feel them. We will start next week with our 4th IUI cycle. And continue to pray for comfort and a miracle.
Because it had taken us so long to get into our first appointment with the RE (wait time from November to the following April), we had also went for an intake appointment at an adoption agency. The appointment went great and we decided to pursue this either way (meaning be it for our first child or our second). As I said, I had always had adoption on my heart as something I would want to do as a part of my family expansion, just never occurred to me that it could be the only method. So we continued to work through the slow process of adoption through all of this, which explains the conference this past weekend. I thank God that I was at the conference. After the buildup to the 3rd IUI not working, I needed the focus of the adoption journey to keep the seams from coming apart yet again.
Infertility, be it explained or unexplained, is like walking down a path in the woods at night with no light. You can’t see anything. You can’t feel anything. You have no idea where you are going or how much farther the journey will be. You don’t know if it will end at a wall or if it will open up to the end result you are seeking. Even though you are not alone, it sometimes feels like you are. You feel like no one in the world understands, even though they try. I can truly describe it as a monster that always seems to be hiding under my bed, just waiting to get me each and every chance it gets. But there is something that it doesn’t know. I stopped fearing monsters under my bed years ago. I refuse to let this beat us. It has been hard for me as a person that has always accomplished everything I had set out to do, from school to work to personal goals, to keep falling down as I walk this path, but I keep getting back up. I wipe the dust and tears off and keep going. Again, my friends call me strong…I call it my only choice. I liken infertility to dark water that you are trapped in, and I am choosing to not sink. I find it difficult to process this concept of unexplained infertility, as I come from a world of math and science where everything has an answer. Sometimes I think it is God telling me that it is His path I should be following. He is the Light in all this that seems so dark. His path for family expansion may not be what I had in mind or what others consider conventional or normal. (I have grown to hate the word normal as it seems to be used so often in the negative, such as “I wish you could get pregnant normally.” Yeah…me too…) But those people mean well. They don’t realize what they are saying or doing, because the concept is foreign to them. If you haven’t walked this path, you can’t fathom what it is like. I think I had a friend say it best in just simply…the whole thing sucks. Sometimes when you don’t know what to say, the truth is what has to be said and that is it. It sucks! (Sorry mom! I know you aren’t a huge fan of that word.)
Hopefully you aren’t discouraged in all this just yet. I am not. I press on knowing that our child is out there. Be it through another IUI and adoption, or just adoption, our family will be growing. What is next for us? Well we begin the adoption home study group classes in two weeks and once that is in the books and complete, we will be officially waiting! We will continue to pursue the IUI treatments until the doctor says it is time for IVF. At that point, I am not sure if we will go down that path or not. The expense is quite high, as is adoption, and not to be guaranteed of results, I am not sure if we will be able to go through with that procedure or not. Hopefully that will be a bridge we won’t cross, but if we do, I plan on doing it holding God’s hand and letting Him guide the steps. One thing all this has taught me, God is in control. Not me, not the doctors, not family, not friends….only my Heavenly Father. I will happily take more than one child into my home, as by this time we had already planned on having two, maybe even three, so it looks like we have a lot of time to make up for so our little babies better be ready to be spoiled regardless of how they find their way to us!
Monday, September 17, 2012
Thank you & Show Hope & Adoption without Debt
Wanted to take just a second to say thank you to the out pouring of well wishes and prayers you all have sent up for us. It is amazing to be blessed with so many friends and family that are with us on this journey! You guys are so incredible and I love you all more than you know.
I did get an overflow of messages and emails with some questions today. One frequent one being how we chose adoption. That is a two fold answer and I am writing the post on it and will publish soon. It is not just a choice, but a testimony of our faith in God and His calling for our lives/path. I am trying my best to articulate it well, so forgive me if it takes me a few days to post it.
I also want to share the organization we got familiar with this weekend...two actually. Both help educate and support families through the adoption or fostering process. One is called Empowered to Connect (www.empoweredtoconnect.org) and the other Show Hope (www.showhope.og). If you have ever wanted to learn more or support adoption, these two sites are the way to do so. Show Hope even helps families raise money for adoption (because it is EXPENSIVE) by providing t-shirts that not only help the families, but also help raise awareness about adoption. There is so much people don't realize about adoption and Show Hope is doing everything they can to help.
Michael and I plan on doing several things to raise funds for our adoption and t-shirts were one thing we decided to do, because of the message they spread. Our website is http://www.adoptionbug.com/simsfamily/index.htm . If you would like to purchase a t-shirt to help raise awareness please take a peek at what we have on our site. I plan on keeping track of everything we do to help with expenses and write it all down to hopefully publish something or teach people that adoption without debt is possible. Debt scares so many people and deters some families from adopting. If I can help to educate people on methods they can use to offset some of these costs, think of how many less orphans there may be in the world? If I can make a difference in one child finding a forever family, then I will feel so blessed. Ideas are welcome and stay tuned for several fundraising activies and blogs about the ones that work and the ones that don't.
Again I love you guys so much for the support!
Misty
I did get an overflow of messages and emails with some questions today. One frequent one being how we chose adoption. That is a two fold answer and I am writing the post on it and will publish soon. It is not just a choice, but a testimony of our faith in God and His calling for our lives/path. I am trying my best to articulate it well, so forgive me if it takes me a few days to post it.
I also want to share the organization we got familiar with this weekend...two actually. Both help educate and support families through the adoption or fostering process. One is called Empowered to Connect (www.empoweredtoconnect.org) and the other Show Hope (www.showhope.og). If you have ever wanted to learn more or support adoption, these two sites are the way to do so. Show Hope even helps families raise money for adoption (because it is EXPENSIVE) by providing t-shirts that not only help the families, but also help raise awareness about adoption. There is so much people don't realize about adoption and Show Hope is doing everything they can to help.
Michael and I plan on doing several things to raise funds for our adoption and t-shirts were one thing we decided to do, because of the message they spread. Our website is http://www.adoptionbug.com/simsfamily/index.htm . If you would like to purchase a t-shirt to help raise awareness please take a peek at what we have on our site. I plan on keeping track of everything we do to help with expenses and write it all down to hopefully publish something or teach people that adoption without debt is possible. Debt scares so many people and deters some families from adopting. If I can help to educate people on methods they can use to offset some of these costs, think of how many less orphans there may be in the world? If I can make a difference in one child finding a forever family, then I will feel so blessed. Ideas are welcome and stay tuned for several fundraising activies and blogs about the ones that work and the ones that don't.
Again I love you guys so much for the support!
Misty
Sunday, September 16, 2012
What is this all about?
Hey guys!
So I had posted on Facebook that I was at a conference this weekend and was so inspired by the people I met and spending time with other friends around me that I felt it was time for me to share something very special with you. Michael and I are indeed in the Making of the Sims 3 process, because we are adopting! I haven't made a huge formal announcement about it due to several reasons, but after the conference it just felt like it was time. We are just beginning this journey so ask for your prayers as we start to go through our home study and begin the waiting. It will be a long winding road, as it already has been, but we know the wait and bumps along the way will be worth it.
We will be adopting domestically and pray that our family will be as blessed as so many I know that have adopted. I have friends and family members that are adopted and I can't imagine life without those people in it, so my heart is over joyed to be getting ready to get the home study out of the way so we can begin the wait, rather than waiting to wait :)
Before you know it, I will be sitting ringside at Wrestlemania with a very small peanut, probably dressed in a John Cena romper (being PG and all), and I will still be cheering for CM Punk and we will be sharing nachos & a foam finger. I do intend on them putting in a few hours on the Cobra, but I will probably hold off until they are at least 2 before I let them watch Sons of Anarchy and maybe 3 before I get them started in the Trent Richardson school of football (kidding....mainly because that doesn't exist....yet!)
So pray for us as we enter this journey. Adoption isn't for whimps! But I think we can handle it :)
Who ever thought I would be ready for crushed cheerios & melted gummy bears in the backseat? :)
Before you know it, I will be sitting ringside at Wrestlemania with a very small peanut, probably dressed in a John Cena romper (being PG and all), and I will still be cheering for CM Punk and we will be sharing nachos & a foam finger. I do intend on them putting in a few hours on the Cobra, but I will probably hold off until they are at least 2 before I let them watch Sons of Anarchy and maybe 3 before I get them started in the Trent Richardson school of football (kidding....mainly because that doesn't exist....yet!)
So pray for us as we enter this journey. Adoption isn't for whimps! But I think we can handle it :)
Who ever thought I would be ready for crushed cheerios & melted gummy bears in the backseat? :)
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