So after being caught up in pregnancy, baby planning, and nursery decorating, I officially neglected this blog to the fullest. But I decided today, while my little champ is napping, to give it an update, especially since some folks had said they missed it. Made me feel awesome that people miss my ramblings :)
Well as I am sure you know by now my pregnancy went great and I delivered a healthy (and stunning) baby boy on September 10th. I had a fairly easy labor and delivery. It was 17 hours long, but epidurals do wonders for dealing with the pain and I was able to really take the whole experience in. I have had TONS of people ask me about my labor and delivery, and I can say I was very blessed to have great support in my husband, family, and nurses. I went into labor around 2:00/2:30am. Of course, being a silly first timer, I wasn't sure what it was. I honestly thought my stomach just was hurting, because it felt absolutely nothing like what I had been told. It was literally a small cramp type thing. Of course it quickly grew into something more :) I got up out of bed when it felt worse and walked around the house contemplating if this "was it" or not. When I noticed these cramping sensations were coming a regular 7 minutes apart, I figured this was quite possibly it. So what do I do? I remember people telling me you can be in labor a long time with your first, so this momma sits down with a bowl of Lucky Charms and has herself some breakfast! I knew they weren't going to let me eat if I went to the hospital, so I decided I was going to eat and take a shower. By the time I finished this, the contractions were more intense and had went to every 4 to 5 minutes. So I woke Michael up (he was already awake and literally jumped out bed when I went in and said I think we need to go to the hospital) and I got dressed. I had been laying out clothes for us every night just in case for about 2 weeks so we were prepared to get dressed, grab the bag, and head out. I called my parents and then started cleaning house. Now let me explain the cleaning house part. I knew his family would be staying with us and I couldn't leave dirty dishes in the sink or the dishwasher full could I now? When Michael realizes what I am doing he frantically yells at me (yell is a bad word here since it wasn't like he was mad but I think he was afraid I was going to deliver while unloading the dishwasher!), and I stop cleaning and we head out and arrive at the hospital around 6am. Fast forward through walking to speed up the labor/dilation, family arriving, an epidural, and 2 hours of pushing while watching Dance Moms and baby Ashton arrived at 7:35pm weighing in at 8 pounds even and measuring 19 inches long. He gave a tiny little cry and they laid him on my chest and I said the words "Hello Sweet Baby" and he opened his eyes and looked right at me. That moment everything in my life changed. Nothing will ever be the same, because at that second, I became a mom...a real true blue mom. I mean I was already a mom when I was pregnant, but looking in his eyes is when it all became real. That moment changed my life for the better forever. I'll never just be Misty, or just the girl that works down the hall, or just Michael's wife, or just a daughter, or just a blonde, or just a wrestling fan, or just anything....I will now always be all those things second, because first I am this little boy's mom. It is the most wonderful and overwhelming thing I ever experienced.
Now has my life been turned upside down by this little miracle? Oh yeah! The up all nights, the feedings, the diapers, the first time driving in the car with him in the back, the spit ups, the doctor's visits, the crying, the cooing, the baby noises that melt my heart...it all flipped my world upside down. I have never been happier or more tired in my life. I will say above and beyond all of it, it is ALL WORTH IT. But you do go to a whole new level of tired and you will feel defeated some days when you can't comfort them immediately. I have learned to expect the unexpected and try your best and don't beat yourself up (even though you still will) when things don't go perfect. You will learn so many things so much faster than you think you will and what you don't learn on your own, you can lean on friends and family to help you with. You will be so tired that you will probably cry and then one night someone will take over the night shift for the whole night and you will sleep and realize you can do this :) I have been blessed with a husband and mom that have helped me and not hated me when I was acting crazy. I stressed out so badly at first that people probably didn't want to be around me, but mainly because I wanted to do it all myself. I wanted to be Super Mom. Well I can say that Super Mom is the one that admits she needs the help and support of those around her. Getting that extra hour of sleep and letting daddy take over or letting grandma change a diaper so you can wash your hair makes you Super Mom, because you realize you need to take care of yourself and the little one and that there are awesome family members willing to spoil him (or her) rotten while you shower! Now I am not saying have a baby and then leave it with grandma on day 2 so you can go to Vegas for the weekend, but you can take a hot shower (which will feel like hitting the Jackpot in Vegas...or maybe even better). And it helps you stay healthy. I mean delivering a baby does do something to the body, so you need to not over do it and realize your limits. This is something I didn't do until about day 17 when my poor mom finally told me to sleep (which I am not sure I had done since 6 months pregnant). It is amazing what a power nap and washing your hair will do for a girl :) But I am very thankful for those around me that have helped me to become the mom-in-training that I am. I say "in-training" because I feel like I will never stop learning at this. He changes everyday and keeps me on my toes, which is pretty awesome in itself :)
I actually had someone ask me for mom advice. (Yeah I have no idea what they were thinking either since at 6 weeks in I am not exactly what I would call a pro!) But here are the top 10 things I have figured out:
1 - Trust your instincts even though you think you don't have any!
2 - No two days will ever be the same :)
3 - Baby bathtubs can be a huge blessing (I have heard this isn't true for all babies, but "A" loves it and will immediately go from Tasmanian Devil to docile bunny when you put him in it)
4 - When you have absolutely no idea why baby is crying (not hungry, wet, cold, etc.) check for weird stuff. "A" lost it the first time a booger got stuck in his nose. I removed it...he cooed the remainder of the day....yeah....a booger.
5 - Just accept the advice you get with a smile, even if you have tried it. You will catch yourself handing it out later (hence this list!)
6 - Take in all the snuggles and love you can. I think it just enriches your soul every time you cuddle them.
7 - Whoever decided that some baby clothes should pull over the head should be boiled in hot oil. What child enjoys this? I have the easiest baby to dress in the world and these are still difficult to contend with.
8 - Doctors should provide nail clipping services for babies. Yes baby manicures. If you don't know why...then just wait until you have to trim nails. Or when you are too scared to do it and they scratch their face and it bleeds. Yup...it's awful.
9 - Baby socks wouldn't stay on their feet if you glued them on with Gorilla Glue.
10 - Baby spit up on your clothes is a badge of honor....and so is pee in the hair. (yes it happened and I survived with a smile....while shaking the extremely cute Pediatrician's hand with pee dripping from my now soaked hair....I'll save that story for another post!)
All that said, I still have no idea what I am doing, but baby "A" is alive and well and cooing at his teddy bear mobile as we speak so I figure I am at least doing ok. He is an amazing little miracle that I am so in love with words can't do it justice. He also made me fall even more in love with Michael after watching Michael become daddy. I didn't realize how much my heart would grow for him while watching him care so sweetly for our son. It is a true blessing to see :)
I have had a few people ask about our next one. I am not sure what God has in store for me there. Over five years to get here taught me that I can definitely expect the unexpected. We know we can't work with the same agency for at least 1 year after we have (or if we have) infertility issues again. I am doubtful that I would pursue that same agency again since we weren't told a lot of information upfront and all the money we spent, including the home study that we were told could be kept current and now have learned it cannot, was just gone when we got pregnant. We would have to start over from square 1 with them and considering some of the disconnects, if we have to start over, I would prefer to go somewhere else. Of course we could have another on our own. Who knows what God has in store! But I do know what I have in store and that is to spend every second I can with the sweet little guy I have and not worry about tomorrow too much as far as having more kids. I want more for sure, but as long as I waited for this sweet little man, I am going to savor and cherish every minute with him that I can.
I have to start back to work soon and I can't even describe how sad I am to leave him for several hours a day. Working moms are officially super heroes in my book. They balance work and family and exhibit enough strength so they don't cry all day missing their little ones. I never thought I would want to stay home since my career was just such a big part of who I was as a person, but now I can see my career isn't what defines me anymore. There are some limitations that will take me back to work whether I want to go back or not, but I fully understand why anyone would want to be a stay at home mom and I never really got that before. But I remind myself that I am one of the providers in our home and that is important too. There is no easy decision on working or not working since both have pluses and minuses I suppose, so you just have to remind yourself of the pluses on whatever you choose or whatever you have to do. I don't think either make you a better or worse parent....just a different kind of parent. Either way, we love our kids with everything in our hearts and that's the most important thing.
So there's my update! My crazy life trying to figure out how to raise a sweet baby into a wonderful man. It is the most amazing and hardest thing I have ever done. And there isn't 1 second that goes by that it isn't worth it. What a difference the past year has made. A year ago I was suffering from loss, fear, anxiety over adoption, and just praying for a miracle. Well my miracle came on September 10th :) and while we may be living la vida loca some days, its a great life because as I watch him grow and learn and figure things out, it makes me realize how precious the little things in life are and how blessed I am that God has entrusted me with this little sweetie pie. I hope He will forgive me for taking him to a Bret Michaels concert or a wrestling event one day :) I may be a momma now, but I mean I am still me :)
Love you guys!!
