Wow! I cannot believe 2013 has already come to a beginning and a close. This year FLEW by for me, as I am sure it did most of ya'll. It was quite the year for me to say the least. This time last year I was balancing home studies, creating a portfolio for the adoption agency, trying to raise enough money to pay for it all and wondering if I would ever actually be a mom. Little did I know in just a few days I would meet a birth mother, have an adoption fall through, and find out I was expecting and 9 months later have the most beautiful and precious baby boy anyone could imagine. Needless to say 2013 was indeed my year!
I learned a lot through 2013. I learned what a woman's body is capable of by producing, nurturing and delivering human life into this world. I found out labor pains are just as much fun as they sound (hopefully you hear that sarcasm...). I found out that 17 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing sound much longer than they seem. Granted I had an epidural so the pain was minimal and that helped it not seem so long, but I was also so consumed with watching monitors, greeting my family and friends, and just thinking about becoming a mom that it felt like the day zipped by. I learned what going into labor feels like and that it's ok to call your mom and 4 am to tell her but not ok to start swiffering the floors before you leave for the hospital.
One thing I learned that I didn't really expect was that I only thought I knew what love was until I laid eyes on my son for the first time. I said "hi baby" when he was laid on my chest and he looked right into my eyes and from that moment forward I would never be the same. He is the first thing I think about in every thing I do now. My mom always told me it would be like this, but I guess I just didn't get it until now. He just sort of captured me that day and hasn't let go yet. Every time he holds my figure, smiles, giggles, falls asleep on me, plays, eats, pretty much anything he does....I fall a little deeper in love with this little guy.
He's taught me so much in his 4 short months here in our home. He has taught me that I need help even when I don't want to admit it. He has taught me to love deeper and stronger than I ever knew I could. He has taught me about how sweet the tiniest moments are, like just sitting on the couch and holding him where he can sit up and play or bath time which has become his new favorite past time. He has taught me to slow down and cherish all those moments I used to glaze over. He has taught me that pictures truly are worth a thousand words as they capture memories we will cherish forever. Every day I relive moments I already lived but through his eyes, and it's just magical. To see him see a ceiling fan for the first time in awe and wonder was pretty much the coolest moment ever haha! He's taught me that it's ok to not fit back into my skinny jeans just yet, because I had a healthy and wonderful pregnancy. And he's taught me to hold his hand now as many times as I can and lead him down his little life's journey for now, and one day he will return the favor when I need him to help me.
2013 was definitely the best year of my life so far. I am thankful for the blessings I have experienced this year and the ones that have become even more relevant. I am thankful for friendships that I wouldn't trade for the world. My Golden Girls are my rocks and I have so many loving friends around me that helped me when I thought I was never going to get to the place I am now. I am thankful for the family I have that love not just me, but Ashton more than words can express. I am thankful for still having a job in a year where furloughs and budget cuts loomed over our heads. I know work isn't always where I want to be since I would love to be with my little peanut all the time, but I sure am thankful to have our bills paid and food on our table at all times. I am thankful for my puppies who were my first babies, and still are my biggest babies! I am thankful for my husband who stood by me through everything and has become the best father I could ever imagine. And I am thankful for all the fun in my life even when others think its weird to love Bret Michaels, wrestling, cars, and crafting as much as I do :) Fun keeps us sane and reminds us that life isn't about just living to work but working to live.
I know 2014 will be awesome too as I see so many of Ashton's firsts. I can't wait to take his first steps with him, hear what all he has to say, watch him try new foods, learn to play even more, and just become his own little person. But for now...I am pretty content in him staying my little baby just as long as he can. I am watching him nap as I type this and not 1 minute goes by that I don't realize how truly lucky I am for it all. So to sum it up, 2013 I bid you farewell and will always remember you as the year of miracles and thankfulness. I will never forget this year and have no idea where I take this blog now. Maybe a fitness blog on how to lose the baby tummy? haha Seriously I am not sure where it goes from here, but if this past year was any indication...it's going to be a lot of fun :)
Have a safe and happy new year everyone!
I love each and every one of you reading this because you all made 2013 my year in some way, whether it was through supporting me through the adoption then pregnancy, praying for us, making me laugh when I wasn't sure I could, or just letting me be me. You got me where I am now and that also makes you one of the biggest blessings in my life. I hope you hear that often, but in case you don't, hear it now. You are absolutely precious to me and my family for all you did :)
Now go party it up!! It's New Year's Eve after all :)
