Wow! I cannot believe 2013 has already come to a beginning and a close. This year FLEW by for me, as I am sure it did most of ya'll. It was quite the year for me to say the least. This time last year I was balancing home studies, creating a portfolio for the adoption agency, trying to raise enough money to pay for it all and wondering if I would ever actually be a mom. Little did I know in just a few days I would meet a birth mother, have an adoption fall through, and find out I was expecting and 9 months later have the most beautiful and precious baby boy anyone could imagine. Needless to say 2013 was indeed my year!
I learned a lot through 2013. I learned what a woman's body is capable of by producing, nurturing and delivering human life into this world. I found out labor pains are just as much fun as they sound (hopefully you hear that sarcasm...). I found out that 17 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing sound much longer than they seem. Granted I had an epidural so the pain was minimal and that helped it not seem so long, but I was also so consumed with watching monitors, greeting my family and friends, and just thinking about becoming a mom that it felt like the day zipped by. I learned what going into labor feels like and that it's ok to call your mom and 4 am to tell her but not ok to start swiffering the floors before you leave for the hospital.
One thing I learned that I didn't really expect was that I only thought I knew what love was until I laid eyes on my son for the first time. I said "hi baby" when he was laid on my chest and he looked right into my eyes and from that moment forward I would never be the same. He is the first thing I think about in every thing I do now. My mom always told me it would be like this, but I guess I just didn't get it until now. He just sort of captured me that day and hasn't let go yet. Every time he holds my figure, smiles, giggles, falls asleep on me, plays, eats, pretty much anything he does....I fall a little deeper in love with this little guy.
He's taught me so much in his 4 short months here in our home. He has taught me that I need help even when I don't want to admit it. He has taught me to love deeper and stronger than I ever knew I could. He has taught me about how sweet the tiniest moments are, like just sitting on the couch and holding him where he can sit up and play or bath time which has become his new favorite past time. He has taught me to slow down and cherish all those moments I used to glaze over. He has taught me that pictures truly are worth a thousand words as they capture memories we will cherish forever. Every day I relive moments I already lived but through his eyes, and it's just magical. To see him see a ceiling fan for the first time in awe and wonder was pretty much the coolest moment ever haha! He's taught me that it's ok to not fit back into my skinny jeans just yet, because I had a healthy and wonderful pregnancy. And he's taught me to hold his hand now as many times as I can and lead him down his little life's journey for now, and one day he will return the favor when I need him to help me.
2013 was definitely the best year of my life so far. I am thankful for the blessings I have experienced this year and the ones that have become even more relevant. I am thankful for friendships that I wouldn't trade for the world. My Golden Girls are my rocks and I have so many loving friends around me that helped me when I thought I was never going to get to the place I am now. I am thankful for the family I have that love not just me, but Ashton more than words can express. I am thankful for still having a job in a year where furloughs and budget cuts loomed over our heads. I know work isn't always where I want to be since I would love to be with my little peanut all the time, but I sure am thankful to have our bills paid and food on our table at all times. I am thankful for my puppies who were my first babies, and still are my biggest babies! I am thankful for my husband who stood by me through everything and has become the best father I could ever imagine. And I am thankful for all the fun in my life even when others think its weird to love Bret Michaels, wrestling, cars, and crafting as much as I do :) Fun keeps us sane and reminds us that life isn't about just living to work but working to live.
I know 2014 will be awesome too as I see so many of Ashton's firsts. I can't wait to take his first steps with him, hear what all he has to say, watch him try new foods, learn to play even more, and just become his own little person. But for now...I am pretty content in him staying my little baby just as long as he can. I am watching him nap as I type this and not 1 minute goes by that I don't realize how truly lucky I am for it all. So to sum it up, 2013 I bid you farewell and will always remember you as the year of miracles and thankfulness. I will never forget this year and have no idea where I take this blog now. Maybe a fitness blog on how to lose the baby tummy? haha Seriously I am not sure where it goes from here, but if this past year was any indication...it's going to be a lot of fun :)
Have a safe and happy new year everyone!
I love each and every one of you reading this because you all made 2013 my year in some way, whether it was through supporting me through the adoption then pregnancy, praying for us, making me laugh when I wasn't sure I could, or just letting me be me. You got me where I am now and that also makes you one of the biggest blessings in my life. I hope you hear that often, but in case you don't, hear it now. You are absolutely precious to me and my family for all you did :)
Now go party it up!! It's New Year's Eve after all :)
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Thursday, October 24, 2013
With Arms Wide Open...
So after being caught up in pregnancy, baby planning, and nursery decorating, I officially neglected this blog to the fullest. But I decided today, while my little champ is napping, to give it an update, especially since some folks had said they missed it. Made me feel awesome that people miss my ramblings :)
Well as I am sure you know by now my pregnancy went great and I delivered a healthy (and stunning) baby boy on September 10th. I had a fairly easy labor and delivery. It was 17 hours long, but epidurals do wonders for dealing with the pain and I was able to really take the whole experience in. I have had TONS of people ask me about my labor and delivery, and I can say I was very blessed to have great support in my husband, family, and nurses. I went into labor around 2:00/2:30am. Of course, being a silly first timer, I wasn't sure what it was. I honestly thought my stomach just was hurting, because it felt absolutely nothing like what I had been told. It was literally a small cramp type thing. Of course it quickly grew into something more :) I got up out of bed when it felt worse and walked around the house contemplating if this "was it" or not. When I noticed these cramping sensations were coming a regular 7 minutes apart, I figured this was quite possibly it. So what do I do? I remember people telling me you can be in labor a long time with your first, so this momma sits down with a bowl of Lucky Charms and has herself some breakfast! I knew they weren't going to let me eat if I went to the hospital, so I decided I was going to eat and take a shower. By the time I finished this, the contractions were more intense and had went to every 4 to 5 minutes. So I woke Michael up (he was already awake and literally jumped out bed when I went in and said I think we need to go to the hospital) and I got dressed. I had been laying out clothes for us every night just in case for about 2 weeks so we were prepared to get dressed, grab the bag, and head out. I called my parents and then started cleaning house. Now let me explain the cleaning house part. I knew his family would be staying with us and I couldn't leave dirty dishes in the sink or the dishwasher full could I now? When Michael realizes what I am doing he frantically yells at me (yell is a bad word here since it wasn't like he was mad but I think he was afraid I was going to deliver while unloading the dishwasher!), and I stop cleaning and we head out and arrive at the hospital around 6am. Fast forward through walking to speed up the labor/dilation, family arriving, an epidural, and 2 hours of pushing while watching Dance Moms and baby Ashton arrived at 7:35pm weighing in at 8 pounds even and measuring 19 inches long. He gave a tiny little cry and they laid him on my chest and I said the words "Hello Sweet Baby" and he opened his eyes and looked right at me. That moment everything in my life changed. Nothing will ever be the same, because at that second, I became a mom...a real true blue mom. I mean I was already a mom when I was pregnant, but looking in his eyes is when it all became real. That moment changed my life for the better forever. I'll never just be Misty, or just the girl that works down the hall, or just Michael's wife, or just a daughter, or just a blonde, or just a wrestling fan, or just anything....I will now always be all those things second, because first I am this little boy's mom. It is the most wonderful and overwhelming thing I ever experienced.
Now has my life been turned upside down by this little miracle? Oh yeah! The up all nights, the feedings, the diapers, the first time driving in the car with him in the back, the spit ups, the doctor's visits, the crying, the cooing, the baby noises that melt my heart...it all flipped my world upside down. I have never been happier or more tired in my life. I will say above and beyond all of it, it is ALL WORTH IT. But you do go to a whole new level of tired and you will feel defeated some days when you can't comfort them immediately. I have learned to expect the unexpected and try your best and don't beat yourself up (even though you still will) when things don't go perfect. You will learn so many things so much faster than you think you will and what you don't learn on your own, you can lean on friends and family to help you with. You will be so tired that you will probably cry and then one night someone will take over the night shift for the whole night and you will sleep and realize you can do this :) I have been blessed with a husband and mom that have helped me and not hated me when I was acting crazy. I stressed out so badly at first that people probably didn't want to be around me, but mainly because I wanted to do it all myself. I wanted to be Super Mom. Well I can say that Super Mom is the one that admits she needs the help and support of those around her. Getting that extra hour of sleep and letting daddy take over or letting grandma change a diaper so you can wash your hair makes you Super Mom, because you realize you need to take care of yourself and the little one and that there are awesome family members willing to spoil him (or her) rotten while you shower! Now I am not saying have a baby and then leave it with grandma on day 2 so you can go to Vegas for the weekend, but you can take a hot shower (which will feel like hitting the Jackpot in Vegas...or maybe even better). And it helps you stay healthy. I mean delivering a baby does do something to the body, so you need to not over do it and realize your limits. This is something I didn't do until about day 17 when my poor mom finally told me to sleep (which I am not sure I had done since 6 months pregnant). It is amazing what a power nap and washing your hair will do for a girl :) But I am very thankful for those around me that have helped me to become the mom-in-training that I am. I say "in-training" because I feel like I will never stop learning at this. He changes everyday and keeps me on my toes, which is pretty awesome in itself :)
I actually had someone ask me for mom advice. (Yeah I have no idea what they were thinking either since at 6 weeks in I am not exactly what I would call a pro!) But here are the top 10 things I have figured out:
1 - Trust your instincts even though you think you don't have any!
2 - No two days will ever be the same :)
3 - Baby bathtubs can be a huge blessing (I have heard this isn't true for all babies, but "A" loves it and will immediately go from Tasmanian Devil to docile bunny when you put him in it)
4 - When you have absolutely no idea why baby is crying (not hungry, wet, cold, etc.) check for weird stuff. "A" lost it the first time a booger got stuck in his nose. I removed it...he cooed the remainder of the day....yeah....a booger.
5 - Just accept the advice you get with a smile, even if you have tried it. You will catch yourself handing it out later (hence this list!)
6 - Take in all the snuggles and love you can. I think it just enriches your soul every time you cuddle them.
7 - Whoever decided that some baby clothes should pull over the head should be boiled in hot oil. What child enjoys this? I have the easiest baby to dress in the world and these are still difficult to contend with.
8 - Doctors should provide nail clipping services for babies. Yes baby manicures. If you don't know why...then just wait until you have to trim nails. Or when you are too scared to do it and they scratch their face and it bleeds. Yup...it's awful.
9 - Baby socks wouldn't stay on their feet if you glued them on with Gorilla Glue.
10 - Baby spit up on your clothes is a badge of honor....and so is pee in the hair. (yes it happened and I survived with a smile....while shaking the extremely cute Pediatrician's hand with pee dripping from my now soaked hair....I'll save that story for another post!)
All that said, I still have no idea what I am doing, but baby "A" is alive and well and cooing at his teddy bear mobile as we speak so I figure I am at least doing ok. He is an amazing little miracle that I am so in love with words can't do it justice. He also made me fall even more in love with Michael after watching Michael become daddy. I didn't realize how much my heart would grow for him while watching him care so sweetly for our son. It is a true blessing to see :)
I have had a few people ask about our next one. I am not sure what God has in store for me there. Over five years to get here taught me that I can definitely expect the unexpected. We know we can't work with the same agency for at least 1 year after we have (or if we have) infertility issues again. I am doubtful that I would pursue that same agency again since we weren't told a lot of information upfront and all the money we spent, including the home study that we were told could be kept current and now have learned it cannot, was just gone when we got pregnant. We would have to start over from square 1 with them and considering some of the disconnects, if we have to start over, I would prefer to go somewhere else. Of course we could have another on our own. Who knows what God has in store! But I do know what I have in store and that is to spend every second I can with the sweet little guy I have and not worry about tomorrow too much as far as having more kids. I want more for sure, but as long as I waited for this sweet little man, I am going to savor and cherish every minute with him that I can.
I have to start back to work soon and I can't even describe how sad I am to leave him for several hours a day. Working moms are officially super heroes in my book. They balance work and family and exhibit enough strength so they don't cry all day missing their little ones. I never thought I would want to stay home since my career was just such a big part of who I was as a person, but now I can see my career isn't what defines me anymore. There are some limitations that will take me back to work whether I want to go back or not, but I fully understand why anyone would want to be a stay at home mom and I never really got that before. But I remind myself that I am one of the providers in our home and that is important too. There is no easy decision on working or not working since both have pluses and minuses I suppose, so you just have to remind yourself of the pluses on whatever you choose or whatever you have to do. I don't think either make you a better or worse parent....just a different kind of parent. Either way, we love our kids with everything in our hearts and that's the most important thing.
So there's my update! My crazy life trying to figure out how to raise a sweet baby into a wonderful man. It is the most amazing and hardest thing I have ever done. And there isn't 1 second that goes by that it isn't worth it. What a difference the past year has made. A year ago I was suffering from loss, fear, anxiety over adoption, and just praying for a miracle. Well my miracle came on September 10th :) and while we may be living la vida loca some days, its a great life because as I watch him grow and learn and figure things out, it makes me realize how precious the little things in life are and how blessed I am that God has entrusted me with this little sweetie pie. I hope He will forgive me for taking him to a Bret Michaels concert or a wrestling event one day :) I may be a momma now, but I mean I am still me :)
Love you guys!!
Well as I am sure you know by now my pregnancy went great and I delivered a healthy (and stunning) baby boy on September 10th. I had a fairly easy labor and delivery. It was 17 hours long, but epidurals do wonders for dealing with the pain and I was able to really take the whole experience in. I have had TONS of people ask me about my labor and delivery, and I can say I was very blessed to have great support in my husband, family, and nurses. I went into labor around 2:00/2:30am. Of course, being a silly first timer, I wasn't sure what it was. I honestly thought my stomach just was hurting, because it felt absolutely nothing like what I had been told. It was literally a small cramp type thing. Of course it quickly grew into something more :) I got up out of bed when it felt worse and walked around the house contemplating if this "was it" or not. When I noticed these cramping sensations were coming a regular 7 minutes apart, I figured this was quite possibly it. So what do I do? I remember people telling me you can be in labor a long time with your first, so this momma sits down with a bowl of Lucky Charms and has herself some breakfast! I knew they weren't going to let me eat if I went to the hospital, so I decided I was going to eat and take a shower. By the time I finished this, the contractions were more intense and had went to every 4 to 5 minutes. So I woke Michael up (he was already awake and literally jumped out bed when I went in and said I think we need to go to the hospital) and I got dressed. I had been laying out clothes for us every night just in case for about 2 weeks so we were prepared to get dressed, grab the bag, and head out. I called my parents and then started cleaning house. Now let me explain the cleaning house part. I knew his family would be staying with us and I couldn't leave dirty dishes in the sink or the dishwasher full could I now? When Michael realizes what I am doing he frantically yells at me (yell is a bad word here since it wasn't like he was mad but I think he was afraid I was going to deliver while unloading the dishwasher!), and I stop cleaning and we head out and arrive at the hospital around 6am. Fast forward through walking to speed up the labor/dilation, family arriving, an epidural, and 2 hours of pushing while watching Dance Moms and baby Ashton arrived at 7:35pm weighing in at 8 pounds even and measuring 19 inches long. He gave a tiny little cry and they laid him on my chest and I said the words "Hello Sweet Baby" and he opened his eyes and looked right at me. That moment everything in my life changed. Nothing will ever be the same, because at that second, I became a mom...a real true blue mom. I mean I was already a mom when I was pregnant, but looking in his eyes is when it all became real. That moment changed my life for the better forever. I'll never just be Misty, or just the girl that works down the hall, or just Michael's wife, or just a daughter, or just a blonde, or just a wrestling fan, or just anything....I will now always be all those things second, because first I am this little boy's mom. It is the most wonderful and overwhelming thing I ever experienced.
Now has my life been turned upside down by this little miracle? Oh yeah! The up all nights, the feedings, the diapers, the first time driving in the car with him in the back, the spit ups, the doctor's visits, the crying, the cooing, the baby noises that melt my heart...it all flipped my world upside down. I have never been happier or more tired in my life. I will say above and beyond all of it, it is ALL WORTH IT. But you do go to a whole new level of tired and you will feel defeated some days when you can't comfort them immediately. I have learned to expect the unexpected and try your best and don't beat yourself up (even though you still will) when things don't go perfect. You will learn so many things so much faster than you think you will and what you don't learn on your own, you can lean on friends and family to help you with. You will be so tired that you will probably cry and then one night someone will take over the night shift for the whole night and you will sleep and realize you can do this :) I have been blessed with a husband and mom that have helped me and not hated me when I was acting crazy. I stressed out so badly at first that people probably didn't want to be around me, but mainly because I wanted to do it all myself. I wanted to be Super Mom. Well I can say that Super Mom is the one that admits she needs the help and support of those around her. Getting that extra hour of sleep and letting daddy take over or letting grandma change a diaper so you can wash your hair makes you Super Mom, because you realize you need to take care of yourself and the little one and that there are awesome family members willing to spoil him (or her) rotten while you shower! Now I am not saying have a baby and then leave it with grandma on day 2 so you can go to Vegas for the weekend, but you can take a hot shower (which will feel like hitting the Jackpot in Vegas...or maybe even better). And it helps you stay healthy. I mean delivering a baby does do something to the body, so you need to not over do it and realize your limits. This is something I didn't do until about day 17 when my poor mom finally told me to sleep (which I am not sure I had done since 6 months pregnant). It is amazing what a power nap and washing your hair will do for a girl :) But I am very thankful for those around me that have helped me to become the mom-in-training that I am. I say "in-training" because I feel like I will never stop learning at this. He changes everyday and keeps me on my toes, which is pretty awesome in itself :)
I actually had someone ask me for mom advice. (Yeah I have no idea what they were thinking either since at 6 weeks in I am not exactly what I would call a pro!) But here are the top 10 things I have figured out:
1 - Trust your instincts even though you think you don't have any!
2 - No two days will ever be the same :)
3 - Baby bathtubs can be a huge blessing (I have heard this isn't true for all babies, but "A" loves it and will immediately go from Tasmanian Devil to docile bunny when you put him in it)
4 - When you have absolutely no idea why baby is crying (not hungry, wet, cold, etc.) check for weird stuff. "A" lost it the first time a booger got stuck in his nose. I removed it...he cooed the remainder of the day....yeah....a booger.
5 - Just accept the advice you get with a smile, even if you have tried it. You will catch yourself handing it out later (hence this list!)
6 - Take in all the snuggles and love you can. I think it just enriches your soul every time you cuddle them.
7 - Whoever decided that some baby clothes should pull over the head should be boiled in hot oil. What child enjoys this? I have the easiest baby to dress in the world and these are still difficult to contend with.
8 - Doctors should provide nail clipping services for babies. Yes baby manicures. If you don't know why...then just wait until you have to trim nails. Or when you are too scared to do it and they scratch their face and it bleeds. Yup...it's awful.
9 - Baby socks wouldn't stay on their feet if you glued them on with Gorilla Glue.
10 - Baby spit up on your clothes is a badge of honor....and so is pee in the hair. (yes it happened and I survived with a smile....while shaking the extremely cute Pediatrician's hand with pee dripping from my now soaked hair....I'll save that story for another post!)
All that said, I still have no idea what I am doing, but baby "A" is alive and well and cooing at his teddy bear mobile as we speak so I figure I am at least doing ok. He is an amazing little miracle that I am so in love with words can't do it justice. He also made me fall even more in love with Michael after watching Michael become daddy. I didn't realize how much my heart would grow for him while watching him care so sweetly for our son. It is a true blessing to see :)
I have had a few people ask about our next one. I am not sure what God has in store for me there. Over five years to get here taught me that I can definitely expect the unexpected. We know we can't work with the same agency for at least 1 year after we have (or if we have) infertility issues again. I am doubtful that I would pursue that same agency again since we weren't told a lot of information upfront and all the money we spent, including the home study that we were told could be kept current and now have learned it cannot, was just gone when we got pregnant. We would have to start over from square 1 with them and considering some of the disconnects, if we have to start over, I would prefer to go somewhere else. Of course we could have another on our own. Who knows what God has in store! But I do know what I have in store and that is to spend every second I can with the sweet little guy I have and not worry about tomorrow too much as far as having more kids. I want more for sure, but as long as I waited for this sweet little man, I am going to savor and cherish every minute with him that I can.
I have to start back to work soon and I can't even describe how sad I am to leave him for several hours a day. Working moms are officially super heroes in my book. They balance work and family and exhibit enough strength so they don't cry all day missing their little ones. I never thought I would want to stay home since my career was just such a big part of who I was as a person, but now I can see my career isn't what defines me anymore. There are some limitations that will take me back to work whether I want to go back or not, but I fully understand why anyone would want to be a stay at home mom and I never really got that before. But I remind myself that I am one of the providers in our home and that is important too. There is no easy decision on working or not working since both have pluses and minuses I suppose, so you just have to remind yourself of the pluses on whatever you choose or whatever you have to do. I don't think either make you a better or worse parent....just a different kind of parent. Either way, we love our kids with everything in our hearts and that's the most important thing.
So there's my update! My crazy life trying to figure out how to raise a sweet baby into a wonderful man. It is the most amazing and hardest thing I have ever done. And there isn't 1 second that goes by that it isn't worth it. What a difference the past year has made. A year ago I was suffering from loss, fear, anxiety over adoption, and just praying for a miracle. Well my miracle came on September 10th :) and while we may be living la vida loca some days, its a great life because as I watch him grow and learn and figure things out, it makes me realize how precious the little things in life are and how blessed I am that God has entrusted me with this little sweetie pie. I hope He will forgive me for taking him to a Bret Michaels concert or a wrestling event one day :) I may be a momma now, but I mean I am still me :)
Love you guys!!
Monday, July 15, 2013
Back in Black...or well Ivories and Baby Blue
So it has been waaaaay too long since I posted. I have been a bit caught up in work and baby fever, so I have neglected my other baby, which is this blog. Hopefully ya'll understand and will now entertain this entirely too long post. :)
So what has been going on with me? Well Baby Ashton has had two amazing baby showers and has been spoiled already by our family and friends and still has showers to go. His room is completely packed and I love it! It is ready to bring him home and enjoy. Want a sneak peek? Here are a couple of shots of the nursery (where the Ivory in the blog title comes in):
One other thing I have been asked a lot is about our adoption. Well as ya'll know we are no longer allowed to work with the agency we were with due to becoming pregnant. I have ran into similar issues with other agencies or they want us to wait until a year after delivery to apply. I am very much on board that we would want to spend time with Ashton and then add another child, but I would like for someone to let us apply so we could keep our home study current. Your home study is good for 5 years but it has to be kept current each year and if we aren't working with anyone, there isn't anyone to ask that it is kept current, if that makes sense. I am going to see if our old agency would possibly have a heart and do it for us even though we can't work with us. That will buy us more time and we wouldn't have to reinvest that initial money all over again. We had spent about $4,000 already with that agency so hopefully they will be willing to do this for us. The social workers were very kind and have checked on us since we were disqualified, so I pray they will be able to do this for us as well. If they do, then I think we will try and work with an agency and adopt a little brother/sister for Ashton in the future or we will pursue foster to adopt through the state. I want to do the foster to adopt so badly, but I know it will be so hard on me if we ever have a child that they take back to their birth parents after we have bonded. But knowing the good we will be doing by caring for a child that is not in a good situation, I am praying that my heart will be strong enough to handle it. So that is where we have gotten to in the adoption journey. It has not ended, but has taken a few turns. But I have found that the best journeys are often those that take you on a winding road. You see the best scenery that way...and I definitely have seen the best scenery....mostly miracles like this:
Have you ever seen something so amazing in your life? Maybe I am a little biased, but I don't think I have even seen something so sweet, wonderful, amazing, breathtaking, and in control of my entire life. I tear up just thinking about him and what an amazing person he will be. They say you never know love until you become a mom and I believe it. I have never just thought about someone and cried like I can with him. And it's all happy tears. Nothing sad here, other than I do dread how fast he will grow up. But I try to just be so thankful that I will be there to watch him grow.
And now if I can just hit the lottery so I can stay home with him......
No I am not holding my breath on that one ;)
Well I am off to see how well I can set up a baby monitor!
Love you guys!!!
Misty
So what has been going on with me? Well Baby Ashton has had two amazing baby showers and has been spoiled already by our family and friends and still has showers to go. His room is completely packed and I love it! It is ready to bring him home and enjoy. Want a sneak peek? Here are a couple of shots of the nursery (where the Ivory in the blog title comes in):
I have been complemented beyond belief over his nursery and I want to thank ya'll that have seen it so much for the sweet words. It is so nice to feel like my labor of love is appreciated by people. I put a lot of time and tears in this room due to numerous mind changes haha! So thank you so much!
As for baby and me, I am 31 weeks now so we are in the home stretch for sure. It gets a little serious here when people ask me how excited I am or tell me I will miss being pregnant. I know I will miss it when it's over, because I haven't been able to be calm and enjoy it. There isn't a day that goes by, or probably even an hour, that I don't worry. I worry over things that could go wrong with him and I pray non-stop that they won't happen. I know it sounds a little paranoid, but if you have followed this blog from the beginning, hopefully you can understand why. I haven't forgotten the trials we went through and I never let a day pass that I don't thank God for each kick, heartburn, hip pain, or anything else associated with pregnancy. So I know I will miss being pregnant when he is here and I have counted all 10 fingers and 10 toes, but I don't think I will miss the paranoid days I put myself through. And I know I will worry even more when he is here, but at least being able to look at his little face will help with that. Now I just hold my breath while doing kick counts. But I know that everything is going to be ok and I will kick myself for all this worry in a few short weeks when my little guy makes his appearance.
We did hospital tours yesterday and if you have any experience with child birth (particularly if you have more than 1 child and delivered at the two different hospitals), I would love your opinion. I left them with a strong opinion, but figure that the hospital tour is the best case and when you actually get there and are in labor, then you see the real deal! So I want to know how they will deal with all the crying, screaming, kicking and other things that I will be doing. And trust me, when I cry, it's the UGLY cry so they will need to be well prepared for that! :) But I did like the homey feeling in the delivery rooms. It felt like a much more friendly environment than I expected, minus the medical equipment of course. I liked that atmosphere, because it just felt more like I was there to welcome a family member than to have a medical procedure. And while I am there to do both, I want to focus on the new baby part, so that I don't go into full panic mode.
Of course with all that said, the funny thing is labor and delivery do not scare me. I mean I am pretty open as far as a "plan" goes. I want an epidural if possible, as I am not really looking to win a merit badge for enduring pain. I respect all you mommas out there that go all natural, because that is a strong woman right there, but I am not sure if given the choice I am quite that strong! But of course, my plan to have pain relief may not come together if he comes quickly, so if he doesn't, then I will remember all my sweet friends that have gone without pain relief and do my best to make ya'll proud. :) But other than that I am ready to just roll with the flow. I am not scared if they say C-section. I mean I would rather just have him the ol' fashioned way, but again we will just roll with what is best for baby at the time. Most of this non-worry probably comes from lack of experience and being rather naïve to the whole process, but it is keeping me calm so I am sticking with it!
So what am I scared of? Well there is a giant list but the top two are the first car ride home (and probably every car ride thereafter) and the first night home alone with him. I mean ya'll....I have to keep this little guy alive! I know that sounds a bit extreme, but it is kinda true. I have to learn his cries, make sure he is fed when he is hungry, taken care of when sick even though he cant' tell me what hurts, make sure he sleeps, does tummy time, doesn't get too hot, doesn't get too cold, doesn't sleep on anything but his back, takes his first steps....doesn't electrocute himself....doesn't choke....doesn't skip school... (I know some of these are way past the first night...but you get my point).....are you starting to see why I am not scared of labor? I have gone well past that and into the rest of the years of his life! I guess I am a mommy already since I already worry about every day he will ever experience! But as much as some of that scares me....I can't wait to experience it all. The smiles, the laughs, the fun....it outweighs the fear any day of the week.
I was asked at one of my showers what kind of mother I thought I would be, and I am pretty sure I will be much like the video below, since one of the girls repeats my "keeping someone alive" worry. If I was wealthier I would probably apply to be on this show:
One other thing I have been asked a lot is about our adoption. Well as ya'll know we are no longer allowed to work with the agency we were with due to becoming pregnant. I have ran into similar issues with other agencies or they want us to wait until a year after delivery to apply. I am very much on board that we would want to spend time with Ashton and then add another child, but I would like for someone to let us apply so we could keep our home study current. Your home study is good for 5 years but it has to be kept current each year and if we aren't working with anyone, there isn't anyone to ask that it is kept current, if that makes sense. I am going to see if our old agency would possibly have a heart and do it for us even though we can't work with us. That will buy us more time and we wouldn't have to reinvest that initial money all over again. We had spent about $4,000 already with that agency so hopefully they will be willing to do this for us. The social workers were very kind and have checked on us since we were disqualified, so I pray they will be able to do this for us as well. If they do, then I think we will try and work with an agency and adopt a little brother/sister for Ashton in the future or we will pursue foster to adopt through the state. I want to do the foster to adopt so badly, but I know it will be so hard on me if we ever have a child that they take back to their birth parents after we have bonded. But knowing the good we will be doing by caring for a child that is not in a good situation, I am praying that my heart will be strong enough to handle it. So that is where we have gotten to in the adoption journey. It has not ended, but has taken a few turns. But I have found that the best journeys are often those that take you on a winding road. You see the best scenery that way...and I definitely have seen the best scenery....mostly miracles like this:
Have you ever seen something so amazing in your life? Maybe I am a little biased, but I don't think I have even seen something so sweet, wonderful, amazing, breathtaking, and in control of my entire life. I tear up just thinking about him and what an amazing person he will be. They say you never know love until you become a mom and I believe it. I have never just thought about someone and cried like I can with him. And it's all happy tears. Nothing sad here, other than I do dread how fast he will grow up. But I try to just be so thankful that I will be there to watch him grow.
And now if I can just hit the lottery so I can stay home with him......
No I am not holding my breath on that one ;)
Well I am off to see how well I can set up a baby monitor!
Love you guys!!!
Misty
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Just when you think you have it all figured out....
Wow..ok...so it has been a while! Sorry for the long pauses between posts but so much started happening that I wanted to save it all for one big post rather than several broken pieces. So bear with me as this is going to be a bit lengthy, but if you make it through...100% guarantee there is a surprise in store for you!
So many of you guys have been so sweet to check up on us and ask how the adoption is going. You remember we were home study approved back in early January. Well shortly after we were approved, we get a call that a birthmom is interested in us. Sounds like awesome news, but unfortunately she didn't match up to our pre-placement criteria. I won't elaborate on what piece, but you can describe on this criteria what medical conditions you will accept, what amount (if any) of drug abuse you will accept, you can specifiy race, gender, knowledge of the birth father....it really goes on and on. But she was a complete mismatch, so we had to say no. Our social worker thought we would, but since the birth mom was so big on us, she still just wanted to ask. It was NOT an easy thing to turn down, but knowing that we said no to some things because of us not being able to properly accomodate them, it was the fair thing to do. So sadly, we said no and that was that.
Well fast forward a couple of weeks and in comes call number two. Almost unheard of to get calls this quickly. This birth mom liked us and was ready to meet us. Big thing was, her baby was already here and was 3 months old. How exciting right? I couldn't wait to meet her. We got more information and she had previously placed another child, but had gone back and forth on that decision a lot. I understood this, as I would imagine placing your child, be it what you think is in their best interest or not, is not easy for a parent to do. Well she had also waivered quite a bit on placing this child. It had me worried, but not near enough to not go. So off we went to the agency to meet her.
I can only describe it as an awkward blind date at first. It was a tough situation, but thanks to our social workers, the ice was quickly broken and we were able to talk. She was tough on us, asking some hard questions, but we answered as honestly as we could. I could see the apprehension in her eyes for placing this little guy. She had an older son still living with her and said it was just so hard now with the second child. The story was a hard one to hear and my heart went out to her. In fact I found myself worrying more about her than I did about me getting the family I was wanting. We left not knowing what to expect, but something in our hearts just felt like this was kind of the end of the road with her. Turns out we were right. She called the agency the next day and said she needed time to think it over and to give her a day or two. After that she made up excuses to not decide, then she slowly stopped taking their calls and wouldn't return messages or anything. The baby's father felt adoption was the best and was currently in jail when we met her, but after getting out tried contacting the agency to see what he needed to do, because he couldn't get in touch with her either. Basically she and this baby just vanished from any form of contact we had with her. Hearts were definitely broken here and I don't think a day goes by that I don't think about her or that little boy and wonder if they are ok or has he been placed somewhere. Just not a happy ending when you have no idea what the real ending was.
Now surely you didn't think I was going to just leave you with that did you? There's always more with me. You guys should know that by now! During all this turmoil and heartbreaks came some news that can only be accredited to our Good Lord above....
So many of you guys have been so sweet to check up on us and ask how the adoption is going. You remember we were home study approved back in early January. Well shortly after we were approved, we get a call that a birthmom is interested in us. Sounds like awesome news, but unfortunately she didn't match up to our pre-placement criteria. I won't elaborate on what piece, but you can describe on this criteria what medical conditions you will accept, what amount (if any) of drug abuse you will accept, you can specifiy race, gender, knowledge of the birth father....it really goes on and on. But she was a complete mismatch, so we had to say no. Our social worker thought we would, but since the birth mom was so big on us, she still just wanted to ask. It was NOT an easy thing to turn down, but knowing that we said no to some things because of us not being able to properly accomodate them, it was the fair thing to do. So sadly, we said no and that was that.
Well fast forward a couple of weeks and in comes call number two. Almost unheard of to get calls this quickly. This birth mom liked us and was ready to meet us. Big thing was, her baby was already here and was 3 months old. How exciting right? I couldn't wait to meet her. We got more information and she had previously placed another child, but had gone back and forth on that decision a lot. I understood this, as I would imagine placing your child, be it what you think is in their best interest or not, is not easy for a parent to do. Well she had also waivered quite a bit on placing this child. It had me worried, but not near enough to not go. So off we went to the agency to meet her.
I can only describe it as an awkward blind date at first. It was a tough situation, but thanks to our social workers, the ice was quickly broken and we were able to talk. She was tough on us, asking some hard questions, but we answered as honestly as we could. I could see the apprehension in her eyes for placing this little guy. She had an older son still living with her and said it was just so hard now with the second child. The story was a hard one to hear and my heart went out to her. In fact I found myself worrying more about her than I did about me getting the family I was wanting. We left not knowing what to expect, but something in our hearts just felt like this was kind of the end of the road with her. Turns out we were right. She called the agency the next day and said she needed time to think it over and to give her a day or two. After that she made up excuses to not decide, then she slowly stopped taking their calls and wouldn't return messages or anything. The baby's father felt adoption was the best and was currently in jail when we met her, but after getting out tried contacting the agency to see what he needed to do, because he couldn't get in touch with her either. Basically she and this baby just vanished from any form of contact we had with her. Hearts were definitely broken here and I don't think a day goes by that I don't think about her or that little boy and wonder if they are ok or has he been placed somewhere. Just not a happy ending when you have no idea what the real ending was.
Now surely you didn't think I was going to just leave you with that did you? There's always more with me. You guys should know that by now! During all this turmoil and heartbreaks came some news that can only be accredited to our Good Lord above....
That's right kiddos!!! I'M PREGNANT!!! Who would've ever thought this would be happening? We are just over 15 weeks :) I was going to wait until 16 weeks to tell anyone, but I am not Kate Middleton and still able to wear my same pants as I did before I was pregnant so it is getting to be tough to hide! Needless to say we couldn't be happier and want to thank you guys for all the prayers to help us expand our family. God has a plan and we are very blessed to watch it unfold this way! Baby Sims scheduled debut is September 16!
Now what about the adoption. Well that piece got much more complicated. When I told the agency (they asked we do so if we ever did become pregnant) things didn't play out how I thought. I thought they would put us on hold until Baby S got here and then we could start back trying to be placed. Holy grits was I wrong! They told us that since we are pregnant that means we do not currently have fertility issues, so we no longer qualify for their domestic program and they bid us farewell, noting that if something were to happen to this baby/pregnancy we could call them and they would take us back. But if we give birth, we are unable to work with them. This wasn't something we were told in the beginning so we were sort of in shock. We still very much want to adopt and had invested several thousands of dollars with them that was now considered non-refundable. All the driving back and forth to Nashville, all the fundraising, everything just gone in the blink of an eye. Not to get too deep into it, but it just was what it was there. We were able to get a copy of our home study. So we are trying to see if we can move it to another agency or possibly pursue foster-to-adopt later on. We want to keep the home study current though, so we do not have to start over. We will just keep praying and see where we are led because this piece of the journey is definitely not over.
I am not upset over walking down the path with this agency though, because it gave me the courage to share my story and connect with a LOT of people with similar stories. If I made even one person feel better or feel like they weren't alone, then I will happily take the bump in the road that I have hit. And to be blessed with a sweet little Peanut growing big and strong and getting ready to make an entrance into this world in the fall....well I don't guess I have to tell any of you out there that are parents or want to be parents that I would happily walk on broken glass and fire just to get me to where I am now. I also am blessed with a huge group of friends and family that never let me feel alone or like I couldn't keep going no matter how bumpy the road got. And I ask that you guys just keep praying for us. Pray that this little one makes it into this world healthy and full of life and happiness and also pray that the next step on the adoption journey is revealed to us. Adoption isn't out of my heart by any means....it just may take a little longer to get there. But all good things are worth waiting for :)
Now I am crying ... not because I am sad, but just because I am little overwhelmed with the joy and emotion I feel now. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a nervous wreck. Every doctor's appointment I hold my breath until he says everything looks great. Every morning I wake up and pray that everything is ok and every night I do the same. I guess this is how the rest of my life will be. Always worrying and always praying for my baby...and you know what?
It's the best thing that's ever happened to me....
~Misty
Friday, January 18, 2013
Fundraising Cookbooks Have Arrived!
We finally got our cookbooks in after a long wait for the order. Tons of you have already ordered one and I thank you so much. To make things a little easier, I created a paypal button that will allow you to pay online if you prefer and you can choose from various shipping. If you are local to me or Michael or my mom, then choose local pickup which is just the $12.00 for the cookbook. If you need it mailed to you and are ok with standard mail, choose the "media" option in the drop down. If you would like it faster, then pick the priority mail option.
I will try and ship them out at least once a week (possibly more!) and appreciate you guys not only wanting to purchase one, but all of those that helped make the cookbook come together with your awesome recipes. I have 210 to sell so please help me spread the word!! :) I hear these make great gifts :P
Peace, Love, & Recipes Galore!
Misty
I will try and ship them out at least once a week (possibly more!) and appreciate you guys not only wanting to purchase one, but all of those that helped make the cookbook come together with your awesome recipes. I have 210 to sell so please help me spread the word!! :) I hear these make great gifts :P
Peace, Love, & Recipes Galore!
Misty
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Drum Roll Please.....
We are officially a WAITING FAMILY!!! (Cue applause, fireworks, drums, anything that makes celebration noise) It happened on January 3rd! What a way to start off the new year huh? It came in a little email and it was crazy how much that little impact did for us that day. I am not sure how to even write about it, because I can't really put the feelings into words. I know there is still a long road ahead of us, but we have already chipped 2 days off that long road. Everyday we get 1 day closer to our family happening. But I need a few of those days too. I haven't been as productive as I would like to be around here getting Cupcake's room painted and setup, so that will definitely keep us busy for a while. We have a paint scheme to do, crown molding to put up, and get a light for the room. Then we can start setting up furniture and other things. So hopefully that is going to make the time go by fairly quickly.
I started praying for our birthmother a while back, but have stepped that up to about twice a day now. She is out there somewhere. And her health and well-being is so important. I know our agency will take of her if she goes in early and allows them to make sure she is getting everything she needs, which I pray she does. I also can't help but try to visualize what she will be like when we meet her. I pray that I keep it together and not cry or something to make her feel pressured or awkward! I hope she wants pictures and letters, but if she doesn't then we will respect that too. I just want her to always be assured that we are doing everything within our power to make this baby happy and top priority and to let her be happy/comfortable with her decision.
I have had a lot of questions about open adoption and how that could work, so I thought I would talk a little about that too since that is about to be such a big part of my life. It can look so different depending on the situation. But today 100% closed adoptions aren't common. Which I think is a good thing. I want my kids to know they have birthparents and be able to connect with them if they want too. If nothing else, medical history is critical. A friend of mine who is adopted said that is the one thing she hates about her adoption. Her adoption took place over 40 years ago and it was closed tighter than tight and she knows nothing of her medical history. How much would that stink if you could never fill out that stuff at just your annual physical or when you change doctors? But beyond just the factual need-to-know things, birthparents are a part of the whole story that adoptees need to know about and connect with on several levels. So openess can range from us sending photos/letters to the agency who then sends it to her...all the way to us actually exchanging numbers and visits. I think that's one of those things that you think you know what you want, say nothing more than contact through the agency, then you get to know each other and trust is built and it grows into something more. And of course, you do what is the best and healthiest for the baby. That is what is most important. So long story short, I am not sure what our openess will look like. I think it will change and grow as we go through the process.
I just want to do what is best for my kids and I think that is to know all of their family. I think it is good for them to understand adoption isn't out not wanting the baby or whatever, but out of love. Birthparents have to have a pretty big love for a baby to make an adoption plan. They have to carry this little baby for 9 months and then look at them, hold them, cuddle them, and then hand them over to another family that will see all their firsts, dry their tears, and teach them how to grow. You have to be a pretty strong parent to do that don't you think? I mean you put that baby before yourself and give them a life you want for them but for whatever reason cannot give them. I am not sure I would be strong enough to do what they are doing. I guess after sitting back and thinking about all this, it just really opened my heart to open adoption. I mean I think they should always be able to know they made a good decision and they are still a big part of the child's life. I just sort of think of them as heroes. They make unselfish decisions that have to break their hearts into a million pieces, but they stay strong. They make dreams happen for families and they shape families into larger versions that what some will ever have. They completely destroy the term "unwanted pregnancy," because through the power of adoption no pregnancy is ever unwanted. Adoption surpasses the boundaries that medical technology and nature set for us. I guess some would describe it as magic, while most would describe it as seeing God's hand at work. Babies are always described as miracles....and how big is a miracle that a couple who can't have a baby, meets up with their baby through adoption.
Obviously we will never rule out potentially having our own one day through a miracle. In fact, we hope all those "as soon as this girl I knew adopted, she got pregnant" stories that we have heard over the past year are true and it happens to us. But our desire to parent far outweighs our desire to give birth. That is not an easy point to get to throughout this process if you have tried to conceive on your own, but I can say when you get there, it feels pretty awesome. Finally being able to say I am going to be a mommy and know it's going to stick is a little overwhelming. I mean like you want to cry, laugh, turn a cartwheel, and then sorta freak-out all at the same time. Pretty cool...even though I can't really turn a cartwheel anymore...possibly ever could...I cheered & danced, but wasn't exactly the cheer queen or anything haha!
So I had promised reviews of recipes and workouts and that will come, but I figured I should share this post first. Now I need to get off of here and make my way towards the painting project I have waiting. Pray that I keep the paint on the walls!
Thank you guys for all the prayers and good thoughts that made this process go smoothly. And thank you in advance for the prayers that this will move quick and we will have our Cupcake (or probably a little Stinkbug) home soon. With that...I guess it's also probably time to clean!
Peace, Love, & New Year-Healthy You Fat Free Cake!
Misty
I started praying for our birthmother a while back, but have stepped that up to about twice a day now. She is out there somewhere. And her health and well-being is so important. I know our agency will take of her if she goes in early and allows them to make sure she is getting everything she needs, which I pray she does. I also can't help but try to visualize what she will be like when we meet her. I pray that I keep it together and not cry or something to make her feel pressured or awkward! I hope she wants pictures and letters, but if she doesn't then we will respect that too. I just want her to always be assured that we are doing everything within our power to make this baby happy and top priority and to let her be happy/comfortable with her decision.
I have had a lot of questions about open adoption and how that could work, so I thought I would talk a little about that too since that is about to be such a big part of my life. It can look so different depending on the situation. But today 100% closed adoptions aren't common. Which I think is a good thing. I want my kids to know they have birthparents and be able to connect with them if they want too. If nothing else, medical history is critical. A friend of mine who is adopted said that is the one thing she hates about her adoption. Her adoption took place over 40 years ago and it was closed tighter than tight and she knows nothing of her medical history. How much would that stink if you could never fill out that stuff at just your annual physical or when you change doctors? But beyond just the factual need-to-know things, birthparents are a part of the whole story that adoptees need to know about and connect with on several levels. So openess can range from us sending photos/letters to the agency who then sends it to her...all the way to us actually exchanging numbers and visits. I think that's one of those things that you think you know what you want, say nothing more than contact through the agency, then you get to know each other and trust is built and it grows into something more. And of course, you do what is the best and healthiest for the baby. That is what is most important. So long story short, I am not sure what our openess will look like. I think it will change and grow as we go through the process.
I just want to do what is best for my kids and I think that is to know all of their family. I think it is good for them to understand adoption isn't out not wanting the baby or whatever, but out of love. Birthparents have to have a pretty big love for a baby to make an adoption plan. They have to carry this little baby for 9 months and then look at them, hold them, cuddle them, and then hand them over to another family that will see all their firsts, dry their tears, and teach them how to grow. You have to be a pretty strong parent to do that don't you think? I mean you put that baby before yourself and give them a life you want for them but for whatever reason cannot give them. I am not sure I would be strong enough to do what they are doing. I guess after sitting back and thinking about all this, it just really opened my heart to open adoption. I mean I think they should always be able to know they made a good decision and they are still a big part of the child's life. I just sort of think of them as heroes. They make unselfish decisions that have to break their hearts into a million pieces, but they stay strong. They make dreams happen for families and they shape families into larger versions that what some will ever have. They completely destroy the term "unwanted pregnancy," because through the power of adoption no pregnancy is ever unwanted. Adoption surpasses the boundaries that medical technology and nature set for us. I guess some would describe it as magic, while most would describe it as seeing God's hand at work. Babies are always described as miracles....and how big is a miracle that a couple who can't have a baby, meets up with their baby through adoption.
Obviously we will never rule out potentially having our own one day through a miracle. In fact, we hope all those "as soon as this girl I knew adopted, she got pregnant" stories that we have heard over the past year are true and it happens to us. But our desire to parent far outweighs our desire to give birth. That is not an easy point to get to throughout this process if you have tried to conceive on your own, but I can say when you get there, it feels pretty awesome. Finally being able to say I am going to be a mommy and know it's going to stick is a little overwhelming. I mean like you want to cry, laugh, turn a cartwheel, and then sorta freak-out all at the same time. Pretty cool...even though I can't really turn a cartwheel anymore...possibly ever could...I cheered & danced, but wasn't exactly the cheer queen or anything haha!
So I had promised reviews of recipes and workouts and that will come, but I figured I should share this post first. Now I need to get off of here and make my way towards the painting project I have waiting. Pray that I keep the paint on the walls!
Thank you guys for all the prayers and good thoughts that made this process go smoothly. And thank you in advance for the prayers that this will move quick and we will have our Cupcake (or probably a little Stinkbug) home soon. With that...I guess it's also probably time to clean!
Peace, Love, & New Year-Healthy You Fat Free Cake!
Misty
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Bye Bye 2012 - Hello 2013!!
Looking back on 2012 this morning as I watch a Dance Moms marathon (don't judge me - I know you watch Swamp People and Duck Dynasty!). 2012 was a year. It was up, it was down, it was a mess. It started off so horribly with the loss of my Heidi (our beautiful Australian Shepherd). I have cried many tears throughout the year over her and how much I still blame myself over her being gone. In fact, the ASPCA has tried to have me jump off the roof with all the abused dog and cat commercials that I have viewed while off of work. But the one thing all the loss has done is brought us closer to the furry little peanuts we have in Hef and Coco. They have become 9 times more spoiled, and as I look at the 30 toys spread around the room where they were playing last night, it makes me smile.
A big up for 2012 was our trip back to Miami. I LOVE MIAMI!! If you know me, you know Florida is my home. Well not really, but I want it to be. Beaches, water, warm weather, and where I can sport the glass slippers of the south all year long! (Flip flops in case you didn't know) But this year Miami brought beautiful weather and Wrestlemania. I met CM Punk for the first time and was absolutely a giddy nut job during it. (I apologize Punk...I will try and be better next time!) But Miami was amazing. I miss it and the Cuban food already and can't wait to go back again one day.
Pulling into Miami in our Mecedes SUV (yeah....that's what happens when Enterprise accidentally double rents a regular car and you get there last....they upgrade you to the big kids car!! Whoop Whoop!) was when I got the call from my RE saying they could bump my appointment up a week. Little did I know moving that appt up would start a rocky road. I experienced the joy and elation of being pregnant because of this office and doctor. As much as the loss rocked the very foundation I stand on, I am happy to have had a chance to experience that piece of life. To know and understand what it was like, even if for only what seemed like seconds, was an amazing feeling.
The losses took me to the lowest spot I have ever been in, but I was pulled back out and headed back on the road to watch what I love, wrestling. Those 2 hours shows do wonders for a girl that had been through what I had been through. And while you laugh at it being wrestling, wrestling is my thing, but think of yours. What do you love doing or attending more than anything? It's about the feeling and the comfort you get from doing it. So that's why it was so special.
Along this road we were accepted into our adoption agency. This was not just an awesome experience, but also awesome because it reconnected me with some awesome friends, Lori & Steve, who will bringing sweet Davis home from Korea in 2013!! (cue Fireworks & awesomeness now!!) Adoption was a scary thng to dive off into, because even with research, I had no idea I knew people going through it. I was so thrilled to have a buddy to ask questions to and to learn about how different adoption journeys can be. International and Domestic are different, but the emotions are the same. We are both dying to meet our family that is out there waiting for us! We also did the adoption walk together in Nashville. It was pretty awesome to see all the people around you that adoption has impacted. It was an amazing experience.
I was also blessed through adoption long before now. My amazing friends that are adopted have been incredible. Even though I knew they were adopted, I never knew their whole story. Two have been kind of enough to share and it is so awesome. I have enjoyed listening to their thoughts on the way their lives were shaped and also their thoughts on how adoption has changed over the last 30 years. If you have never talked to someone that was adopted, I think you should. You will be amazed at what all they have to say and how amazing the adoption process is. I can't say enough about how much I appreciate them sharing with me and beyond that, just the friendship they have always given me. True friends are so hard to come by and having their support for so many years and especially now, I just can't say thank you enough.
2012 ended not exactly how I wanted it too. I wanted to be officially approved/our profile being shown and that didn't happen. We are just one step away, but with holidays and vacations, etc. that step didn't happen. But that's ok. We celebrated like it was official and started on Cupcakes room. Christmas was all about Cupcake this year. Books, toys, bedding, strollers, and pack-n-plays now fill up my house and it seems so real that Cucpcake is on their way home. It's scary and exciting! Hopefully by this time next week we will be official and I can start being nervous about being shown to birth moms!
So what does 2013 hold? I pray for a year of excitement. I am happy to box up 2012 and put it away. It was hard year but it taught me a lot. But now I am ready to move forward into 2013, which I see as being a year of change and growth. I may be a mom before the year is over. Wow! My birthday is 28 days away and I already have my gift. I got tickets to wrestling. (Are you shocked?) But I am so excited about it! I am working on trying out new recipes to share with ya'll....something to keep the blog fun while we wait :) I have 82 days before I have to fit into a bridesmaid's dress. Operation Bridesmaid is already in full effect. Clean eats and glitter sweating in the gym. (Yeah I am so awesome I sweat glitter....yes it can happen!) Michael also decided to join the fun and wanted to try a new workout home DVD. You know we did Insanity and P90X. This go we will be trying TapoutXT. I will try and review it on here so you guys can see how good it is and if it delivers results. I am also going to try Amanda Latona's Miracle booty workout...since I have never known what a booty could look like. I know what hips look like for sure...just not booty. So if it truly leaves me with Booty-Booty-Rockin'-Everywhere (that was for you Casey-Hizzle!) then I will recommend it on here and show you the results. If it is a flop...well I will let you know that too.
So with black-eyed peas on the stove and turnip greens next up and potatoes in the crock pot, here is to 2013. I plan on spending today with the furry babies and Michael watching football and eating good food that I have been told is good luck. Honestly, I am not much of one who believes in luck (my favorite wrestler has a tattoo that says luck is for losers....any idea why I adore him?), but I eat it anyway. It's a tradition now more than anything. Luck isn't something I trust in. I trust in faith and taking the reigns and making things happen. I don't rely on luck...I rely on hard work and if you see something you want...you make it happen. So 2013 - watch out - I plan on making you the year that other years will envy. Let's rock it out :)
Watch for a recipe review for the potatoes in the crockpot, clean chicken chipotle soup and oatmeal bake soon.
Until then - Peace, Love, & Glitter!
Misty
A big up for 2012 was our trip back to Miami. I LOVE MIAMI!! If you know me, you know Florida is my home. Well not really, but I want it to be. Beaches, water, warm weather, and where I can sport the glass slippers of the south all year long! (Flip flops in case you didn't know) But this year Miami brought beautiful weather and Wrestlemania. I met CM Punk for the first time and was absolutely a giddy nut job during it. (I apologize Punk...I will try and be better next time!) But Miami was amazing. I miss it and the Cuban food already and can't wait to go back again one day.
Pulling into Miami in our Mecedes SUV (yeah....that's what happens when Enterprise accidentally double rents a regular car and you get there last....they upgrade you to the big kids car!! Whoop Whoop!) was when I got the call from my RE saying they could bump my appointment up a week. Little did I know moving that appt up would start a rocky road. I experienced the joy and elation of being pregnant because of this office and doctor. As much as the loss rocked the very foundation I stand on, I am happy to have had a chance to experience that piece of life. To know and understand what it was like, even if for only what seemed like seconds, was an amazing feeling.
The losses took me to the lowest spot I have ever been in, but I was pulled back out and headed back on the road to watch what I love, wrestling. Those 2 hours shows do wonders for a girl that had been through what I had been through. And while you laugh at it being wrestling, wrestling is my thing, but think of yours. What do you love doing or attending more than anything? It's about the feeling and the comfort you get from doing it. So that's why it was so special.
Along this road we were accepted into our adoption agency. This was not just an awesome experience, but also awesome because it reconnected me with some awesome friends, Lori & Steve, who will bringing sweet Davis home from Korea in 2013!! (cue Fireworks & awesomeness now!!) Adoption was a scary thng to dive off into, because even with research, I had no idea I knew people going through it. I was so thrilled to have a buddy to ask questions to and to learn about how different adoption journeys can be. International and Domestic are different, but the emotions are the same. We are both dying to meet our family that is out there waiting for us! We also did the adoption walk together in Nashville. It was pretty awesome to see all the people around you that adoption has impacted. It was an amazing experience.
I was also blessed through adoption long before now. My amazing friends that are adopted have been incredible. Even though I knew they were adopted, I never knew their whole story. Two have been kind of enough to share and it is so awesome. I have enjoyed listening to their thoughts on the way their lives were shaped and also their thoughts on how adoption has changed over the last 30 years. If you have never talked to someone that was adopted, I think you should. You will be amazed at what all they have to say and how amazing the adoption process is. I can't say enough about how much I appreciate them sharing with me and beyond that, just the friendship they have always given me. True friends are so hard to come by and having their support for so many years and especially now, I just can't say thank you enough.
2012 ended not exactly how I wanted it too. I wanted to be officially approved/our profile being shown and that didn't happen. We are just one step away, but with holidays and vacations, etc. that step didn't happen. But that's ok. We celebrated like it was official and started on Cupcakes room. Christmas was all about Cupcake this year. Books, toys, bedding, strollers, and pack-n-plays now fill up my house and it seems so real that Cucpcake is on their way home. It's scary and exciting! Hopefully by this time next week we will be official and I can start being nervous about being shown to birth moms!
So what does 2013 hold? I pray for a year of excitement. I am happy to box up 2012 and put it away. It was hard year but it taught me a lot. But now I am ready to move forward into 2013, which I see as being a year of change and growth. I may be a mom before the year is over. Wow! My birthday is 28 days away and I already have my gift. I got tickets to wrestling. (Are you shocked?) But I am so excited about it! I am working on trying out new recipes to share with ya'll....something to keep the blog fun while we wait :) I have 82 days before I have to fit into a bridesmaid's dress. Operation Bridesmaid is already in full effect. Clean eats and glitter sweating in the gym. (Yeah I am so awesome I sweat glitter....yes it can happen!) Michael also decided to join the fun and wanted to try a new workout home DVD. You know we did Insanity and P90X. This go we will be trying TapoutXT. I will try and review it on here so you guys can see how good it is and if it delivers results. I am also going to try Amanda Latona's Miracle booty workout...since I have never known what a booty could look like. I know what hips look like for sure...just not booty. So if it truly leaves me with Booty-Booty-Rockin'-Everywhere (that was for you Casey-Hizzle!) then I will recommend it on here and show you the results. If it is a flop...well I will let you know that too.
So with black-eyed peas on the stove and turnip greens next up and potatoes in the crock pot, here is to 2013. I plan on spending today with the furry babies and Michael watching football and eating good food that I have been told is good luck. Honestly, I am not much of one who believes in luck (my favorite wrestler has a tattoo that says luck is for losers....any idea why I adore him?), but I eat it anyway. It's a tradition now more than anything. Luck isn't something I trust in. I trust in faith and taking the reigns and making things happen. I don't rely on luck...I rely on hard work and if you see something you want...you make it happen. So 2013 - watch out - I plan on making you the year that other years will envy. Let's rock it out :)
Watch for a recipe review for the potatoes in the crockpot, clean chicken chipotle soup and oatmeal bake soon.
Until then - Peace, Love, & Glitter!
Misty
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)