All About Those Bars - Homemade Protein Bars

Oh fitness...how I love and loathe thee.  Trying to get back in shape after baby #2 is a tough thing to do, mainly because you are running after baby #1 while tending to baby #2, working, keeping household stuff under control and still managing to find time to shower!  So I try and squeeze workouts when I can and make good eating choices as often as possible so I can get back into fighting shape as soon as I can :)

As a mom of 2 kids under 2, it's all about planning and making the most of meal prep days.  So I try and cook up a ton of stuff for the week, portion out my meals, and make easy grab and go options, like these bars.  The recipe is from Jamie Eason and if you haven't had a chance, look her up on FB or on bodybuilding.com.  Her recipes are great and her LiveFit Trainer program has a really great success rate....and it's free!  No sign-ups, no videos, nothing to sell you.  Just free fitness.

The recipe is easy to make and uses some ingredients you will find easily at the local grocery stores.  One ingredient is baby food....and before you roll your eyes, remind yourself that this should be food in its purest form since its to be fed to new tummies.  If you are uncomfortable buying a jar of organic pureed baby food, then by all means, peel, cook and puree your carrots...but I am up for the short cut.  I used sweetener in these, but with the super sweet protein powders on the market today, you probably could cut that out all together.  The protein powder I used was Pure Protein, but not one I recommend.  I bought it as a have-to and would definitely gravitate towards a different brand given more time/options.  I could do a whole blog post on just protein powders honestly.

Jamie Eason's Carrot Cake Protein Bars

• 1 cup of oat flour (do not buy this...use regular rolled oats and run it through a blender or food processor to make your own!)
• 2 scoops of vanilla whey protein
• 2 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/8 tsp each allspice and nutmeg (alternative - use pumpkin pie spice)
• 4 egg whites
• 3/4 cup Splenda, Stevia in the Raw or sweetener of your choice
• 8 oz baby food carrots
• 4 oz water

Directions

1. Preheat over to 350 degrees
2. Mix dry ingredients - flour, whey protein, spices, baking soda, and salt in a bowl.
3. Mix wet ingredients in another bowl - egg whites, sweetener, carrots, and water.
4. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients and mix.
5. Spray a glass baking dish with non-stick spray.  (I have used both a 11x7 and a 8x8 dish.  Both work well)
6. Pour mixture into dish and bake for 20-30 minutes or until toothpick/cake tester comes out clean when inserted into the middle.  **Note these won't be typical protein bars and dense and chewy.  They are airy and cakey in texture**

The Zoo Crew

We decided to take the A Team to the zoo in Nashville, TN for a day of family fun and I thought it would be nice for families considering a day trip there to get a little review.

First, the zoo recommends coming Mon-Thurs due to packed houses on the weekend days, and I agree with this.  It was packed to the brim on the Saturday that we went.  So if you don't want to feel rushed or crowded, I recommend taking a day off from work if you can and visiting during the week so the kids can see better and you can get better photos without feeling insanely rushed.

You can bring your own stroller or rent one (prices were $8 for a single, $10 for a double - and they hold a photo ID for collateral).  I would recommend bringing your own if you go on a crowded day, as they are first-come, first-serve and do not take reservations to secure one.  So you can leave yours in the car and chance it, but I wouldn't want to leave it at home and chance it.

Admission is $15 for adults and $10 for children ages 2 -12 (free for members).  Children under 2 are free.  Not there is also a $5 parking charge if you are a non-zoo member.  I think the membership would be great if you live close by, but since we don't, the $35 for a one day excursion was fine.  Train rides, carousel rides and feeding the lorikeets are all additional charges.

So things we loved while inside - the food was pretty good and while a little pricey as at most places like zoos or theme parks, I was pretty impressed that it was called out to be fresh and farm-to-table when possible with options like locally sourced salads, meats, etc.  I mean don't expect perfectly healthy options all the way around, but it was nice to be able to get a salad that tasted fresh or a sandwich with real flavor, as opposed to just frozen chicken tenders (which of course were also available).  The free animal encounters were great for the kids.  They could pet goats and run around on a path with free roaming kangaroo and cockatoos.  A1 lost his mind over these!  Overall cleanliness was big here too.  You didn't see much over-flowing garbage, etc which was surprisingly considering how crowded it was.  The atmosphere was pretty awesome too.  It felt more natural, like you were walking in the forest than some other places we have visited.  You could also bring in your own food and coolers to help cut down the cost of feeding a hungry family (just no glass).

Things we didn't love - where are the lions, tigers, and bears? (oh my?)  Ok so there was 1 tiger.  No lions.  No bears (although they had a sign that said coming soon). No hippos.  No rhinos.  I felt like big animals were lacking, outside the 1 tiger and the elephants.  If you were looking for a wide variety of animals, this was not the place to find it.  The train was only a tiny train that didn't go around the zoo, but cost the same as those that do.  Definitely could benefit with a playground type area for kids to burn off the mounds of sugar readily available in the form of ice cream, chocolate covered bananas, etc.  I didn't even see a splash pad for the summer (maybe I missed it?)

All in all it was a great place, but there were a few things I didn't love.  But I have an overwhelming love for Nashville, so I would not only recommend the zoo but the city as a whole.  It has a little bit of everything for everybody from cowboy to hipster.  You just can't go wrong with Nashville :)

Recipe Trial - Southwestern Sausage Quiche

If you know me, you know I have a love for Plain Chicken.  If you haven't heard of her, then head over plainchicken.com and I think you will love her as much as I do.  Her food is outstanding and although she roots for the enemy (she's all in for Auburn and ya'll know I bleed Crimson, White and a little houndstooth), she is where it is at for fun-loving tailgate food and other comfort must have's.  This week I tried out her Southwestern Sausage Quiche, with a few tweaks.  Not only did I love it, but the family did too.  A1 devoured it, while A2 stared at my plate longingly wondering when her bottle would be replaced with a plate of cheesy goodness. 


Warning - this is a rich dish.  I lightened it up in some aspects, but by now means is this going to get you swimsuit ready!  But when its raining and yucky outside, it sure is yummy!


Recommendations - use a deep dish pie crust, or if you can't find one, don't fill it to the brim.  And let it set up after cooking, maybe even 15 minutes (original recipe says 5-10).  (Wanna know a secret - we were hungry and didn't want and just ate a big pile of mess with some crust under it.  Tastes the same :P)  And I didn't have regular milk, but plain almond milk works just fine.



Adapted from Plain Chicken


3/4 pound turkey sausage (original called for 1/2 pound but we are carnivores)

1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
1 can (10 oz) mild Rotel tomatoes (pulsed in food processor - I didn't drain mine)
2 eggs
1/4 cup light Ranch dressing
1/4 cup light sour cream
1/3 cup unsweetened original almond milk (I normally would use skim but this is what we had)
1 9-inch unbaked deep dish pie shell



Preheat oven to 350.



In a large skillet, cook sausage until no longer pink. Drain and set to the side. In a large bowl, whisk together eggs, ranch dressing, sour cream and milk. Add sausage, cheese and Rotel to the egg mixture. Stir to combine. Pour mixture into pie crust.



Bake 1 hour. Allow quiche to rest for 15 to 20 minutes before serving.

The girl is back in town...

So it's been a while...like a whole other baby later!  That's right, God blessed us with a sweet baby girl in February of this year without even the tiniest struggle to have her.  We couldn't be happier to be a family of 4!  Which is what led to the renaming of this blog.  You knew it before as "Making of the Sims 3."  Well that didn't exactly make sense anymore since we've gone from 2 to 3 to 4!  So since both kiddos have names that start with the letter A, Captain of the A Team was born.  You can still find all the old archive posts from our struggle and attempts at adoption and then finally having our sweet baby boy, but going forward I figure the name should be a little more accurate.


So now the blog will take on the shape of my many trials at different recipes I find online, on Pinterest, or ones that I revamp to be a little healthier.  I will probably also occasionally post on fitness to act like I am in shape or something (lumpy is the new toned in case you hadn't heard).  Food.  And there will be the occasional DIY projects that I either destroy or actually turns out ok.  Food.  And yes...there will be posts on my amazing family, because they are awesome.  And did I mention food?  So basically this blog is going to be a big hot mess of stuff, which perfectly represents its author :) 


So sit back and enjoy the ride and let's have a snack along the way :)

Tonight I'm Gonna Party Like It's 1999...eh...I mean 2013 :)

Wow!  I cannot believe 2013 has already come to a beginning and a close.  This year FLEW by for me, as I am sure it did most of ya'll.  It was quite the year for me to say the least.  This time last year I was balancing home studies, creating a portfolio for the adoption agency, trying to raise enough money to pay for it all and wondering if I would ever actually be a mom.  Little did I know in just a few days I would meet a birth mother, have an adoption fall through, and find out I was expecting and 9 months later have the most beautiful and precious baby boy anyone could imagine.  Needless to say 2013 was indeed my year!

I learned a lot through 2013.  I learned what a woman's body is capable of by producing, nurturing and delivering human life into this world.  I found out labor pains are just as much fun as they sound (hopefully you hear that sarcasm...).  I found out that 17 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing sound much longer than they seem.  Granted I had an epidural so the pain was minimal and that helped it not seem so long, but I was also so consumed with watching monitors, greeting my family and friends, and just thinking about becoming a mom that it felt like the day zipped by.  I learned what going into labor feels like and that it's ok to call your mom and 4 am to tell her but not ok to start swiffering the floors before you leave for the hospital. 

One thing I learned that I didn't really expect was that I only thought I knew what love was until I laid eyes on my son for the first time.  I said "hi baby" when he was laid on my chest and he looked right into my eyes and from that moment forward I would never be the same.  He is the first thing I think about in every thing I do now.  My mom always told me it would be like this, but I guess I just didn't get it until now.  He just sort of captured me that day and hasn't let go yet.  Every time he holds my figure, smiles, giggles, falls asleep  on me, plays, eats, pretty much anything he does....I fall a little deeper in love with this little guy. 

He's taught me so much in his 4 short months here in our home.  He has taught me that I need help even when I don't want to admit it.  He has taught me to love deeper and stronger than I ever knew I could.  He has taught me about how sweet the tiniest moments are, like just sitting on the couch and holding him where he can sit up and play or bath time which has become his new favorite past time.  He has taught me to slow down and cherish all those moments I used to glaze over.  He has taught me that pictures truly are worth a thousand words as they capture memories we will cherish forever.  Every day I relive moments I already lived but through his eyes, and it's just magical.  To see him see a ceiling fan for the first time in awe and wonder was pretty much the coolest moment ever haha!  He's taught me that it's ok to not fit back into my skinny jeans just yet, because I had a healthy and wonderful pregnancy.  And he's taught me to hold his hand now as many times as I can and lead him down his little life's journey for now, and one day he will return the favor when I need him to help me.

2013 was definitely the best year of my life so far.  I am thankful for the blessings I have experienced this year and the ones that have become even more relevant.  I am thankful for friendships that I wouldn't trade for the world.  My Golden Girls are my rocks and I have so many loving friends around me that helped me when I thought I was never going to get to the place I am now.  I am thankful for the family I have that love not just me, but Ashton more than words can express.  I am thankful for still having a job in a year where furloughs and budget cuts loomed over our heads.  I know work isn't always where I want to be since I would love to be with my little peanut all the time, but I sure am thankful to have our bills paid and food on our table at all times.  I am thankful for my puppies who were my first babies, and still are my biggest babies!  I am thankful for my husband who stood by me through everything and has become the best father I could ever imagine.  And I am thankful for all the fun in my life even when others think its weird to love Bret Michaels, wrestling, cars, and crafting as much as I do :)  Fun keeps us sane and reminds us that life isn't about just living to work but working to live. 

I know 2014 will be awesome too as I see so many of Ashton's firsts.  I can't wait to take his first steps with him, hear what all he has to say, watch him try new foods, learn to play even more, and just become his own little person.  But for now...I am pretty content in him staying my little baby just as long as he can.  I am watching him nap as I type this and not 1 minute goes by that I don't realize how truly lucky I am for it all.  So to sum it up, 2013 I bid you farewell and will always remember you as the year of miracles and thankfulness.  I will never forget this year and have no idea where I take this blog now.  Maybe a fitness blog on how to lose the baby tummy? haha  Seriously I am not sure where it goes from here, but if this past year was any indication...it's going to be a lot of fun :)

Have a safe and happy new year everyone!

I love each and every one of you reading this because you all made 2013 my year in some way, whether it was through supporting me through the adoption then pregnancy, praying for us, making me laugh when I wasn't sure I could, or just letting me be me.  You got me where I am now and that also makes you one of the biggest blessings in my life.  I hope you hear that often, but in case you don't, hear it now.  You are absolutely precious to me and my family for all you did :)

Now go party it up!!  It's New Year's Eve after all :)

With Arms Wide Open...

So after being caught up in pregnancy, baby planning, and nursery decorating, I officially neglected this blog to the fullest.  But I decided today, while my little champ is napping, to give it an update, especially since some folks had said they missed it.  Made me feel awesome that people miss my ramblings :)

Well as I am sure you know by now my pregnancy went great and I delivered a healthy (and stunning) baby boy on September 10th.  I had a fairly easy labor and delivery.  It was 17 hours long, but epidurals do wonders for dealing with the pain and I was able to really take the whole experience in.  I have had TONS of people ask me about my labor and delivery, and I can say I was very blessed to have great support in my husband, family, and nurses.  I went into labor around 2:00/2:30am.  Of course, being a silly first timer, I wasn't sure what it was.  I honestly thought my stomach just was hurting, because it felt absolutely nothing like what I had been told.  It was literally a small cramp type thing.  Of course it quickly grew into something more :)  I got up out of bed when it felt worse and walked around the house contemplating if this "was it" or not.  When I noticed these cramping sensations were coming a regular 7 minutes apart, I figured this was quite possibly it.  So what do I do?  I remember people telling me you can be in labor a long time with your first, so this momma sits down with a bowl of Lucky Charms and has herself some breakfast!  I knew they weren't going to let me eat if I went to the hospital, so I decided I was going to eat and take a shower.  By the time I finished this, the contractions were more intense and had went to every 4 to 5 minutes.  So I woke Michael up (he was already awake and literally jumped out bed when I went in and said I think we need to go to the hospital) and I got dressed.  I had been laying out clothes for us every night just in case for about 2 weeks so we were prepared to get dressed, grab the bag, and head out.  I called my parents and then started cleaning house.  Now let me explain the cleaning house part.  I knew his family would be staying with us and I couldn't leave dirty dishes in the sink or the dishwasher full could I now?  When Michael realizes what I am doing he frantically yells at me (yell is a bad word here since it wasn't like he was mad but I think he was afraid I was going to deliver while unloading the dishwasher!), and I stop cleaning and we head out and arrive at the hospital around 6am.  Fast forward through walking to speed up the labor/dilation, family arriving, an epidural, and 2 hours of pushing while watching Dance Moms and baby Ashton arrived at 7:35pm weighing in at 8 pounds even and measuring 19 inches long.  He gave a tiny little cry and they laid him on my chest and I said the words "Hello Sweet Baby" and he opened his eyes and looked right at me.  That moment everything in my life changed.  Nothing will ever be the same, because at that second, I became a mom...a real true blue mom.  I mean I was already a mom when I was pregnant, but looking in his eyes is when it all became real.  That moment changed my life for the better forever.  I'll never just be Misty, or just the girl that works down the hall, or just Michael's wife, or just a daughter, or just a blonde, or just a wrestling fan, or just anything....I will now always be all those things second, because first I am this little boy's mom.  It is the most wonderful and overwhelming thing I ever experienced.

Now has my life been turned upside down by this little miracle?  Oh yeah!  The up all nights, the feedings, the diapers, the first time driving in the car with him in the back, the spit ups, the doctor's visits, the crying, the cooing, the baby noises that melt my heart...it all flipped my world upside down.  I have never been happier or more tired in my life.  I will say above and beyond all of it, it is ALL WORTH IT.  But you do go to a whole new level of tired and you will feel defeated some days when you can't comfort them immediately.  I have learned to expect the unexpected and try your best and don't beat yourself up (even though you still will) when things don't go perfect.  You will learn so many things so much faster than you  think you will and what you don't learn on your own, you can lean on friends and family to help you with.  You will be so tired that you will probably cry and then one night someone will take over the night shift for the whole night and you will sleep and realize you can do this :)  I have been blessed with a husband and mom that have helped me and not hated me when I was acting crazy.  I stressed out so badly at first that people probably didn't want to be around me, but mainly because I wanted to do it all myself.  I wanted to be Super Mom.  Well I can say that Super Mom is the one that admits she needs the help and support of those around her.  Getting that extra hour of sleep and letting daddy take over or letting grandma change a diaper so you can wash your hair makes you Super Mom, because you realize you need to take care of yourself and the little one and that there are awesome family members willing to spoil him (or her) rotten while you shower!  Now I am not saying have a baby and then leave it with grandma on day 2 so you can go to Vegas for the weekend, but you can take a hot shower (which will feel like hitting the Jackpot in Vegas...or maybe even better).  And it helps you stay healthy.  I mean delivering a baby does do something to the body, so you need to not over do it and realize your limits.  This is something I didn't do until about day 17 when my poor mom finally told me to sleep (which I am not sure I had done since 6 months pregnant).  It is amazing what a power nap and washing your hair will do for a girl :)  But I am very thankful for those around me that have helped me to become the mom-in-training that I am.  I say "in-training" because I feel like I will never stop learning at this.  He changes everyday and keeps me on my toes, which is pretty awesome in itself :)

I actually had someone ask me for mom advice.  (Yeah I have no idea what they were thinking either since at 6 weeks in I am not exactly what I would call a pro!)  But here are the top 10 things I have figured out:

1 - Trust your instincts even though you think you don't have any!
2 - No two days will ever be the same :)
3 - Baby bathtubs can be a huge blessing (I have heard this isn't true for all babies, but "A" loves it and will immediately go from Tasmanian Devil to docile bunny when you put him in it)
4 - When you have absolutely no idea why baby is crying (not hungry, wet, cold, etc.) check for weird stuff.  "A" lost it the first time a booger got stuck in his nose.  I removed it...he cooed the remainder of the day....yeah....a booger.
5 - Just accept the advice you get with a smile, even if you have tried it.  You will catch yourself handing it out later (hence this list!)
6 - Take in all the snuggles and love you can.  I think it just enriches your soul every time you cuddle them.
7 - Whoever decided that some baby clothes should pull over the head should be boiled in hot oil.  What child enjoys this?  I have the easiest baby to dress in the world and these are still difficult to contend with.
8 - Doctors should provide nail clipping services for babies.  Yes baby manicures.  If you don't know why...then just wait until you have to trim nails.  Or when you are too scared to do it and they scratch their face and it bleeds.  Yup...it's awful.
9 - Baby socks wouldn't stay on their feet if you glued them on with Gorilla Glue.
10 - Baby spit up on your clothes is a badge of honor....and so is pee in the hair.  (yes it happened and I survived with a smile....while shaking the extremely cute Pediatrician's hand with pee dripping from my now soaked hair....I'll save that story for another post!)

All that said, I still have no idea what I am doing, but baby "A" is alive and well and cooing at his teddy bear mobile as we speak so I figure I am at least doing ok.  He is an amazing little miracle that I am so in love with words can't do it justice.  He also made me fall even more in love with Michael after watching Michael become daddy.  I didn't realize how much my heart would grow for him while watching him care so sweetly for our son.  It is a true blessing to see :)

I have had a few people ask about our next one.  I am not sure what God has in store for me there.  Over five years to get here taught me that I can definitely expect the unexpected.  We know we can't work with the same agency for at least 1 year after we have (or if we have) infertility issues again.  I am doubtful that I would pursue that same agency again since we weren't told a lot of information upfront and all the money we spent, including the home study that we were told could be kept current and now have learned it cannot, was just gone when we got pregnant.  We would have to start over from square 1 with them and considering some of the disconnects, if we have to start over, I would prefer to go somewhere else.  Of course we could have another on our own.  Who knows what God has in store!  But I do know what I have in store and that is to spend every second I can with the sweet little guy I have and not worry about tomorrow too much as far as having more kids.  I want more for sure, but as long as I waited for this sweet little man, I am going to savor and cherish every minute with him that I can. 

I have to start back to work soon and I can't even describe how sad I am to leave him for several hours a day.  Working moms are officially super heroes in my book.  They balance work and family and exhibit enough strength so they don't cry all day missing their little ones.  I never thought I would want to stay home since my career was just such a big part of who I was as a person, but now I can see my career isn't what defines me anymore.  There are some limitations that will take me back to work whether I want to go back or not, but I fully understand why anyone would want to be a stay at home mom and I never really got that before.  But I remind myself that I am one of the providers in our home and that is important too.  There is no easy decision on working or not working since both have pluses and minuses I suppose, so you just have to remind yourself of the pluses on whatever you choose or whatever you have to do.  I don't think either make you a better or worse parent....just a different kind of parent.  Either way, we love our kids with everything in our hearts and that's the most important thing.

So there's my update!  My crazy life trying to figure out how to raise a sweet baby into a wonderful man.  It is the most amazing and hardest thing I have ever done.  And there isn't 1 second that goes by that it isn't worth it. What a difference the past year has made.  A year ago I was suffering from loss, fear, anxiety over adoption, and just praying for a miracle.  Well my miracle came on September 10th :)  and while we may be living la vida loca some days, its a great life because as I watch him grow and learn and figure things out, it makes me realize how precious the little things in life are and how blessed I am that God has entrusted me with this little sweetie pie.  I hope He will forgive me for taking him to a Bret Michaels concert or a wrestling event one day :)  I may be a momma now, but I mean I am still me :)

Love you guys!!

Back in Black...or well Ivories and Baby Blue

So it has been waaaaay too long since I posted.  I have been a bit caught up in work and baby fever, so I have neglected my other baby, which is this blog.  Hopefully ya'll understand and will now entertain this entirely too long post. :)

So what has been going on with me?  Well Baby Ashton has had two amazing baby showers and has been spoiled already by our family and friends and still has showers to go.  His room is completely packed and I love it!  It is ready to bring him home and enjoy.  Want a sneak peek?  Here are a couple of shots of the nursery (where the Ivory in the blog title comes in):

 

 

I have been complemented beyond belief over his nursery and I want to thank ya'll that have seen it so much for the sweet words.  It is so nice to feel like my labor of love is appreciated by people.  I put a lot of time and tears in this room due to numerous mind changes haha!  So thank you so much!

 

As for baby and me, I am 31 weeks now so we are in the home stretch for sure.  It gets a little serious here when people ask me how excited I am or tell me I will miss being pregnant.  I know I will miss it when it's over, because I haven't been able to be calm and enjoy it.  There isn't a day that goes by, or probably even an hour, that I don't worry.  I worry over things that could go wrong with him and I pray non-stop that they won't happen.  I know it sounds a little paranoid, but if you have followed this blog from the beginning, hopefully you can understand why.  I haven't forgotten the trials we went through and I never let a day pass that I don't thank God for each kick, heartburn, hip pain, or anything else associated with pregnancy.  So I know I will miss being pregnant when he is here and I have counted all 10 fingers and 10 toes, but I don't think I will miss the paranoid days I put myself through.  And I know I will worry even more when he is here, but at least being able to look at his little face will help with that.  Now I just hold my breath while doing kick counts.  But I know that everything is going to be ok and I will kick myself for all this worry in a few short weeks when my little guy makes his appearance.

 

We did hospital tours yesterday and if you have any experience with child birth (particularly if you have more than 1 child and delivered at the two different hospitals), I would love your opinion.  I left them with a strong opinion, but figure that the hospital tour is the best case and when you actually get there and are in labor, then you see the real deal!  So I want to know how they will deal with all the crying, screaming, kicking and other things that I will be doing.  And trust me, when I cry, it's the UGLY cry so they will need to be well prepared for that! :)  But I did like the homey feeling in the delivery rooms.  It felt like a much more friendly environment than I expected, minus the medical equipment of course.  I liked that atmosphere, because it just felt more like I was there to welcome a family member than to have a medical procedure.  And while I am there to do both, I want to focus on the new baby part, so that I don't go into full panic mode.

 

Of course with all that said, the funny thing is labor and delivery do not scare me.  I mean I am pretty open as far as a "plan" goes.  I want an epidural if possible, as I am not really looking to win a merit badge for enduring pain.  I respect all you mommas out there that go all natural, because that is a strong woman right there, but I am not sure if given the choice I am quite that strong!  But of course, my plan to have pain relief may not come together if he comes quickly, so if he doesn't, then I will remember all my sweet friends that have gone without pain relief and do my best to make ya'll proud. :)  But other than that I am ready to just roll with the flow.  I am not scared if they say C-section.  I mean I would rather just have him the ol' fashioned way, but again we will just roll with what is best for baby at the time.  Most of this non-worry probably comes from lack of experience and being rather naïve to the whole process, but it is keeping me calm so I am sticking with it! 

 

So what am I scared of?  Well there is a giant list but the top two are the first car ride home (and probably every car ride thereafter) and the first night home alone with him.   I mean ya'll....I have to keep this little guy alive!  I know that sounds a bit extreme, but it is kinda true.  I have to learn his cries, make sure he is fed when he is hungry, taken care of when sick even though he cant' tell me what hurts, make sure he sleeps, does tummy time, doesn't get too hot, doesn't get too cold, doesn't sleep on anything but his back, takes his first steps....doesn't electrocute himself....doesn't choke....doesn't skip school... (I know some of these are way past the first night...but you get my point).....are you starting to see why I am not scared of labor?  I have gone well past that and into the rest of the years of his life!  I guess I am a mommy already since I already worry about every day he will ever experience!  But as much as some of that scares me....I can't wait to experience it all.  The smiles, the laughs, the fun....it outweighs the fear any day of the week.

 

I was asked at one of my showers what kind of mother I thought I would be, and I am pretty sure I will be much like the video below, since one of the girls repeats my "keeping someone alive" worry.  If I was wealthier I would probably apply to be on this show:

 

 

One other thing I have been asked a lot is about our adoption.  Well as ya'll know we are no longer allowed to work with the agency we were with due to becoming pregnant.  I have ran into similar issues with other agencies or they want us to wait until a year after delivery to apply.  I am very much on board that we would want to spend time with Ashton and then add another child, but I would like for someone to let us apply so we could keep our home study current.  Your home study is good for 5 years but it has to be kept current each year and if we aren't working with anyone, there isn't anyone to ask that it is kept current, if that makes sense.  I am going to see if our old agency would possibly have a heart and do it for us even though we can't work with us.  That will buy us more time and we wouldn't have to reinvest that initial money all over again.  We had spent about $4,000 already with that agency so hopefully they will be willing to do this for us.  The social workers were very kind and have checked on us since we were disqualified, so I pray they will be able to do this for us as well.  If they do, then I think we will try and work with an agency and adopt a little brother/sister for Ashton in the future or we will pursue foster to adopt through the state.  I want to do the foster to adopt so badly, but I know it will be so hard on me if we ever have a child that they take back to their birth parents after we have bonded.  But knowing the good we will be doing by caring for a child that is not in a good situation, I am praying that my heart will be strong enough to handle it.  So that is where we have gotten to in the adoption journey.  It has not ended, but has taken a few turns.  But I have found that the best journeys are often those that take you on a winding road.  You see the best scenery that way...and I definitely have seen the best scenery....mostly miracles like this:

Have you ever seen something so amazing in your life?  Maybe I am a little biased, but I don't think I have even seen something so sweet, wonderful, amazing, breathtaking, and in control of my entire life.  I tear up just thinking about him and what an amazing person he will be.  They say you never know love until you become  a mom and I believe it.  I have never just thought about someone and cried like I can with him.  And it's all happy tears.  Nothing sad here, other than I do dread how fast he will grow up.  But I try to just be so thankful that I will be there to watch him grow. 

And now if I can just hit the lottery so I can stay home with him......

No I am not holding my breath on that one ;)

Well I am off to see how well I can set up a baby monitor!

Love you guys!!!

Misty