This week has been one of learning a lot of different theings. Our class this week was about transracial adoption. We met a lady who adopted her son when he was an infant. He is bi-racial and was completely adorable. His mother had done a great job of making sure that he could connect to people from both sides of his heritage. His birthmother is still in his life and like his adoptive family, she is caucasin. His birthfather isn't someone they know. She didn't elaborate on the story as it apparently was a sensitive situation, but they believe that he is African-American. So they try to make sure their son understands that his hertiage. I thought it was pretty awesome of this mom to work so hard ot make sure her son could identify with who he is. She told us of rude questions people asked her all the time when they first brought him home. One I found the rudest was someone who asked her "Did they not have any white babies you could've gotten?" That one sort of floored me that someone would not only ask a new mom that, but that we still have people who would say something so heartless about a sweet little baby. Almost make him sound not worthy of a home, because he is bi-racial. I only pray that I could handle such questions with the grace and dignity she did. It taught me a lot about how to handle rude people. Not just with an issue like that, but just in general. It is definitely a place I need to grow in, as I usually react rather than stop, think, then respond.
I did learn something about myself this week. My heart has healed a lot....more than I thought. Back probably almost a year ago, I had a guy say something extremely cruel to me. I am not sure he knew how cruel it was. He made a really harsh comment about how I should hurry up and have a baby, because I was getting old and my eggs were drying up. I debated on even writing that because it is harsh, cruel and honestly just stupid. But I couldn't quite type it in a vague way that did it justice. Needless to say that comment was like a knife in the stomach. I am normally someone that will just make a comment right back and move on. But given our situation, that one left me silent and almost like I couldn't move for about 5 minutes. He had no idea what we were going through, but that itself is the point. You never know what someone is going through, so making hateful comments, even if you think they are funny, is not something an adult should do. Anyways, I sort of held a grudge towards this guy ever since. About 2-2 1/2 months ago, he also came and left me holding somethings he needed to do so he could go with his wife to the doctor to hear their baby's heartbeat. This was the first I had even heard that they were pregnant with their 2nd child. I was just coming off the loss/D&C from just a few weeks prior so I was almost angry at him for even going. That was wrong of me, because no matter what comments he made, the baby and hearing the heartbeat is so precious. We never heard ours but we saw it and I can tell you there is nothing like that. Anyways fast forward to yesterday. I got the news that they lost their sweet baby. I broke when I heard it. My heart ached for them so much. This guy isn't well liked by any means so most people were like oh that sucks....where we going for lunch? So I almost surprised myself, when I found myself coming to his defense. And I realized something about me at that point. My heart wasn't broken for myself anymore, but for someone else. I also realized I have forgiven him for what he said. A couple of months ago, I couldn't have said that. I was happy (weird choice of word there but I wasn't sure how to make it sound right) that finally I was back in a place where I could truly just hurt for someone else and not bring it back to feeling sorry for myself in some way. I don't want to drown in a pity pool for myself. I prayed for them as hard as I could and hope they are doing ok.
Last night we wished a good friend good luck as he starts his journey a new job several hours away. While we will see him again while he is traveling back and forth, it was one last time for us all to come together and spend some time together as friends, or probably a better word - family. I took a glance around the table last night and realized that I had close to 16 people around me (note there are many more that should be in that number - they just couldn't make it out) that are the best friends a girl could have. We are all different and come from all over the place, but we are there for each other no matter what. I am tearing up even writing this. Not from being sad, but from just a girly emotional moment when you learn some of your family are people that aren't related to you by blood. I couldn't love these people anymore than I do today if we were all biological family. Brings the adoption into light in a whole new way and goes to show blood isn't the important thing....the heart is.
I also have to talk about how excited I am for my friend who is expecting her first and it is a little boy. She is probably one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen and now is the cutest little pregnant lady!! Her little bitty belly is adorable. And she shared a story about her family and adoption with me last night and it was awesome. It was a story that I was needing to hear and I thank both God and her for making sure I heard it. She said she is praying for me, well if you are reading this, I am praying for you too sweet girl! :) Not only to have a healthy baby boy in March, but also prayers of thanks for you being a part of our little friendship family and such a light in this adoption path for me. Sometimes its the little things that make the biggest difference and that story last night over chips and salsa was it. Love you & can't to meet your little guy!
Ok this turned out way longer than I intended. It is Alabama Homecoming today and I will be there as we Roll over Miss St and stay on the road to the championship! Praying for healthy teams and no injuries and safe trips to and from the stadium. (And possibly an endless supply of hot hands since it is a bit cold today!)
As always thank you guys for listening and keeping us in your prayers. We have one more class to go and then the home visit/interviews and we will be wrapping up this home study process and moving on to officially waiting. We have started baby furniture shopping already. We want to get a few essentials just in case a baby comes quickly! I have two sets narrowed down but can't decide between the two! Why is baby stuff so cute? They should make 10% cute and 90% ugly so it would be easy to choose :)
OK enough!! :) I have gotta go find enough red and houndstooth to make you go blind from looking at it and get to the came!
Love you guys!! And thank you for being amazing! I can't say that enough.
No comments:
Post a Comment